May the Best Man Win
by IamOliverShaw
Summary: A McCollins vs. McSwarek Story. Loosely follows season 4 with my own variations. Will Sam's behavior be the push Nick needs to win Andy over? Or will Nick be the one that finally helps Sam figure it out! (I do not own Rookie Blue. I also have no ownership to any lyrics and no afiliations to the businesses mentioned.) Adult Language
1. Blurred Lines

**So I'm new to fanfiction and I have to admit I've become a little obsessed... Totally my newest guilty pleasure. I love Rookie Blue and use the fanfiction stories to tide me over from season to season. After reading nearly all the RB stories, I decided to give it a try myself. I love constructive feedback, though I admit I'm not an English Major or an inspiring writer... Just doing this for entertainment. Enjoy.**

-FLASHBACK-

A few bars of a familiar pop song – one couple on the dance floor – and all their mouths dropped to the floor.

It had been 3 months since Nick and Andy never showed to parade. Gail was colder and edgier than ever. Traci was coping and trying to find her new normal without Jerry. Chloe was the newest rookie, and boy was she a handful! And Noelle… well Noel was a new mom who desperately needed a girl's night out. They decided to try a new club on the far side of town, well outside the 15 division. The club was part of a chain based out of Montreal and the ladies were anticipating opening night for their Toronto location.

The club was packed but the ladies wedged themselves through the door. Lights were flashing. Beats were thumping like a heart attack and the temperature was close to molted lava. Chloe made a beeline for the lady's room for a once over… Tonight, she was on a mission to get the elusive Dov Epstein off her mind. Gail, Traci and Noelle made their away to the bar. They needed a little liquid courage in this crowd.

The three of them were at the bar downing their second round of tequila shots, _(Gail's choice of course.)_ and getting the feel of the place. The dance floor was swarming. Suddenly, the turn table screeched to a halt and the DJ's voice blared in the microphone. He said something about a tradition started at the Montreal location and explained that opening night in Toronto called for a little celebration. With that, the crowd made room on the dance floor and waited with anticipation. Beats from Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines started pounding and a couple exited the VIP section and onto the dance floor.

Andy and Nick had tried every excuse in the book to get out of it, but their new boss made it clear that they would be sharing the club's newest tradition at opening night of the Toronto location. They knew it would be risky to be back in the city, but Blackstone shrugged it off and promised to have their backs. So now Andy and Nick found themselves waiting for their cue in the VIP room. For Andy, being this close to Sam and not being able to reach out to him felt like a bigger betrayal than leaving for taskforce to begin with, but she pushed her anxiety to the side when she heard their cue. She shared a playful glance with her partner and headed to the dance floor.

Andy and Nick had been on the Dakota Taskforce for 3 months. Both working in a Montreal club – Andy as a waitress and Nick as a bartender. It started out like an inside joke, the two of them dancing to a song that had 'Dakota' in the lyrics right in front of their intended target - their boss and club owner - but one shot on the dance floor and it seemed the joke was on them. The Montreal crowd went wild and the boss decided it was worth repeating. They had gone under as a couple, and Nick quickly realized that dancing together was a good way to 'stake his claim' to Andy, therefore keeping the handsy club goers _(and the boss)_ off of Andy. They played their parts well and soon they were the club's 'IT couple.' Each night the Montreal crowd waited with bated breath for the familiar tune to start pumping. Each time they danced, they became more comfortable with one another – laughing together at the ridiculousness of it all. Eventually, their routine was spicy hot to say the least, but the crowd loved it and they were having fun. (_Platonic fun, despite the bumping and grinding – Wink Wink.)_

Tonight, Andy was dressed in a black halter and black mini. Both pieces fit her like a glove in all the right spots. Her 3 inch heels put her right at eye level with Nick. Nick was wearing gray slacks and a black dress shirt with sleeves cuffed to display his toned muscle. They hit the floor like they owned it. Their hands moved fluidly. Andy's around Nick's neck and down his chest. Nick's down Andy's sides, her hips and palming her bum. They moved together, their hips in sync with one another. They smiled brightly, never breaking eye contact. At verse 3, Nick flipped Andy around - his front to her back, his hands reaching around to her thighs, and her bum pressing to his hips as Thicke sang '_Let me be the one you back that ass into_.'

Chloe was still in the bathroom – the line had taken forever. Traci, Gail and Noelle were still standing shell-shocked at the bar. The three of them knew they needed to turn tail and run as soon as the familiar VIPers stepped out, but prying their eyes away was like trying to ignore a rainbow-colored unicorn doing the edge walk off the CN Tower. Finally, Noelle snapped of her McCollins induced haze and went full on TO. Noelle ordered Traci to get Gail out of the club, while she barged into the lady's room after Chloe. She brushed by Andy as she and Chloe were rushing out. A few words in passing, 'Way to Move,' and Andy knew it was time the co-workers split ways. The 4 girls piled in a cab, while Andy and Nick made their way straight back to Montreal – their little undercover bubble momentarily popped. The two could only assume who all had been at the club, each hoping that a certain blue eye blond and one brooding alpha male hadn't been among mix.

Noelle went home and told Frank straight away – _minus a few less necessary details_, and it didn't take long before Frank was calling Blackstone very early in the morning. Chloe, having missed the entire scene and blissfully ignorant of the 15 Division drama, went about in her normal _(abnormal)_ fashion – mooning over Epstein and talking incessantly. Traci tried to convince Gail that it was all just a role being played, but Gail was of little faith. Traci knew Andy wasn't a cheater and would never do anything with nick while she believed he was still with Gail. She also knew that deep down Andy McNally was not over Sam Swarek. - Though if she were honest, there were moments when she wondered if Andy had actually taken her advice to 'To get under someone new….'


	2. It's My Wedding, I Can Meddle If I Want

-PRESENT TIME-

Andy and Nick had been back at 15 for 2 months – 5 months since the nightclub incident – and so far their partnership was the only familiar thing they had left. Nick had tried to make amends with Gail but her sleeping with Blackstone for payback was the nail in that coffin. Andy was reconnecting with Traci, trying to make up for lost time, and trying hard not to notice Sam Swarek and the fact that he seems to have moved no with 15's newest TO – Marlo Cruz.

It was the day of Noelle's wedding. Andy and Nick were partnered together. Andy had been excited about the day_. (She loved weddings! It's no surprise.)_ She had spent the first part of shift trying to convince Nick that they would have fun – open bar, dancing and flirting with strangers. The shift wore on and held its share of ups and downs – beginning with Andy, in mocking sarcasm, promising to save Sam a dance and ending with Nick confessing 'Magical' feelings. But as the shift came to an end, much to Andy's dismay, she and Nick were still on patrol waiting out a bus thief who was resisting arrest by climbing 150 feet up a tower.

_FINALLY_ getting to the hotel at least in time for the reception, Andy quietly eased to the door of the reception hall with Nick loyally at her side. She played nervously with her fingers, and Nick calmed the overthinking wheels that he could practically hear turning, telling her he had 'All the time in the world.' She smiled at that and they headed in.

Nick took a sit a table near the dance floor with Steve Peck and Andy went to find Traci – eager to get 'the scoop' on Traci's new budding romance. After a few glasses of champagne and more than a one cake pop, Andy and Traci sat down at the table with Nick and Steve. Andy and Traci having girl talk and Nick and Steve talking shop and Guns and Gangs.'

Oliver was pulling out all the stops, including his middle-aged-man moves, for his Wiccan date Celery. Chloe was basking in the victory of her newly claimed Dov. Gail was in the coat closet exploring her new love interest Holly, and Sam Swarek was sitting at the bar nursing a scotch – as stoic as usual. He would be sitting at the singles table tonight, as Marlo was out-of-town.

Noelle – a glowing bride with a deeper appreciation for the vows '_In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health_.' – took in the scene around her. She watched as her husband chatted with their friends, never taking his eyes off of her for more than a few seconds at a time – and stood back thankful for her 15 family who came out to celebrate with them.

Her eyes moved toward the bar and landed on Sam. She knew this day had been tough on him – standing in as Best Man for Frank and remembering his intentions to do the same for Jerry. Noelle knew that Sam had been in a bad way after Jerry died, pushing everyone closest to him out – including Andy. She was fairly certain he broke both their hearts in the process, because Sam hadn't been the same since. (_Folks were having a hard time trying to figure out what had scarred him more, loosing Jerry or letting Andy go_.) Noelle had to give him credit, though, he was trying really hard to convince himself that he was better and happy with Marlo, but so far the only one that seemed to believe him was McNally.

In a moment of weakness, normally not one to meddle, Noelle made her way to the DJ. She knew she was playing with fire, but she told herself '_Hell, It's my wedding and I can meddle if I want to_.' Noelle got to the DJ and whispered her plan. She hoped it would be the push Sam needed to finally realize what he was about to lose forever. The DJ cued the music and Noelle called Rick and Tandy (Nick and Andy's cover names _– keep it as close to the truth as possible, right?!_) to the dance floor. Blushing deeply and shaking her head wildly, Andy was all protest. But as Nick finished his whiskey in one gulp and stood from the table with a dare in his eye, Andy gave in. Chugging the last of her champagne, Nick pulled her to the dance floor as Robin Thicke's voice filled the air. All eyes were on the couple (a few glancing over to Swarek) as they shared their inside joke with the wedding party and most of the 15 Division.

Everybody get up  
Everybody get up  
Hey, hey, hey  
Hey, hey, hey  
Hey, hey, hey

Dov stood from the sidelines shouting 'Rock and Roll McNally.' Chloe, a not-so-secret McCollins fan, beamed and pumped a two-fingered rocker wave in the air. Oliver stood with Celery open-mouthed and dumbfounded - He nearly dropped his glass in the floor. And Sam sat stone-faced gripping his glass of scotch like it was the only thing keeping him from falling into an abyss.

OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you  
But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature  
Just let me liberate you  
Hey, hey, hey  
You don't need no papers  
Hey, hey, hey  
That man is not your maker

Sam expected them to come together – after all they had been partnered together today. But he also knew it wasn't the first time he had noticed how close the two of them had become since their return from Dakota. He had seen how her laugh had returned, watched their effortless banter and, worse, recognized the look that graced Collins' face whenever Andy was near…. It was a look that he had worn himself all too often…. The look of a man who was totally enamored by the exceptional Andy McNally. These days he tries hard to keep that look from his face, but it's a constant battle, and in those moments of weakness when that look does break past his walls and grace his features, he knows his eyes now hold regret, and Collins' hope.

And that's why I'm gon' take a good girl  
I know you want it  
I know you want it  
I know you want it  
You're a good girl  
Can't let it get past me  
You're far from plastic  
Talk about getting blasted  
I hate these blurred lines

Watching Andy dance, he's torn between needing a cold shower and needing a grave-digger to bury all his hopes. He watched as she moved, not being able to tear his eyes away. _God he was such a masochist_- he thought to himself. _And God he hated Collins._ He knew he had no right to dislike Nick – Hell, he had her back in Dakota and made sure she came home safe, but he couldn't help himself. So far as Sam could tell Collins was able to be for Andy what Sam couldn't – _The Good Guy_.

What do they make dreams for  
When you got them jeans on  
What do we need steam for  
You the hottest bitch in this place  
I feel so lucky  
Hey, hey, hey  
You wanna hug me

In a desperate act of self-preservation, Sam finally turned himself away from the dance floor and slumped back to the bar top. Clinking the glass for a refill – a double scotch _NEAT._ He threw the liquid back and sat the glass down for another just as verse 3 began to play - The sound of Oliver actually dropping his glass to the floor, brought Sam's eyes back to Andy. He didn't realize his glass had cracked under his grip, until the song finally ended. Thankfully his hand hadn't been cut…. Though perhaps that pain might have dulled the pain in his chest. _Great!_ He scoffs to himself, '_Sam Swarek considering self-injury. God, next thing you know I'm going to be asking to borrow that Dashboard Confessional CD that I nearly threw out of the cruiser when I was paired with ManBoy Epsiten.'_

Sam looked on, feeling almost as defeated as he had _THAT_ _NIGHT_ at the Penny. He watched as Traci guffawed, half in shock and half in admiration. Dov echoed another 'Rock-N-Roll' – this time a little more breathless than the first. Thinking God must have heard his plea, the song ended and Andy turned back toward the table. But as luck is rarely on his side, the next song came on and Collins quickly pulled Andy back to him. Final defeat came as Sam listened to the lyrics from Jason DeRulo's 'Take Me to The Other Side,' and watched Collins damn near making a public profession of his intentions. Sam didn't need to stay long enough to see Andy's intentions; he turned to the barkeeper and asked how much for a full bottle – pointing to the top shelf scotch. Sam took his last place prize and slipped out of the hall and down to his truck.

In the beginning  
I never thought it would be you  
When we were chilling  
Smiling in the photo booth  
But we got closer  
Soon you were eating off my spoon  
You're coming over  
And we would talk all afternoon

Noelle glanced to the bar to see if her plan had worked, but realized that her intended target hadn't taken the bait. She had known that it was risky – after all there were no safe bets when it came to Sam Swarek these days. Would he really just give up?! Had he totally given up already?! '_God I'd like to retrain his ass!'_ She told herself.

Tonight we'll just get drunk  
Disturb the peace  
Let your love crash into me  
And then you bite your lip  
Whisper and say, "We're going all the way."


	3. Not My Type

Sam sat on the tailgate of his truck, already well past the legal limit, and sipped the bottle as shadows danced across the balcony lights. Sam thought only of Andy. She had never danced with him like that… _ Though I never actually asked her to dance at all…. And I sure as Hell hadn't been one for proclamations – public or private._ Somewhere between the distant memory of her 'I love you!' in the cab of his truck and much too current reality of her in Collins' arms, Sam passed out in the bed of his truck – curled on his side, head resting on his arm, feet hanging off the tailgate, with an empty bottle of scotch in his hand.

This could be perfect  
But we won't know unless we try  
I know you're nervous  
So just sit back and let me drive

The party goers dwindled down, the faithful few holding down the dance floor until the happy couple said their goodbyes. Frank swept his new wife up to the honeymoon suite and the rest of the gang headed out. Chloe and Dov took advantage of a hotel vacancy. Gail and Holly hadn't been seen since the coat closet… _More than a few people in the crowd realized that had probably been a good thing considering the McCollins show…_ The 3 remaining couples made their way to the parking lot. As they stepped out of the lobby, Nick felt Andy tense under his hand at the small of her back. Nick was already way too familiar with that tense… He knew McNally's built-in Swarek GPS had pinged Sam's location. Sure enough he followed Andy's line of vision to the big silver truck with 2 feet hanging from the tailgate.

The 3 couples headed that way, but Andy intervened and encouraged Traci to head on home to Leo. She knew she or Oliver could get Sam home and she also figured Sam would rather not be caught by a Peck keeping warm like one of Toronto's professional homeless. Traci agreed - She and Steve heading home with an understanding smirk from Steve. Oliver helped get Sam from the truck bed to the cab. Trying to deflect the embarrassment of his fishing the keys from Sam's front pocket, Oliver leaned Sam against the passenger door and joked '_Hands in your pants and you didn't even buy me dinner!'_ It probably would have been funnier if it weren't for the already very awkward situation. Once Sam was situated and slouched in the front seat, Andy convinced Oliver that she could handle getting Sam home… _After all, she couldn't let Oliver ditch Celery on their first date, Right?!_ Oliver questioned the choice at first, but acknowledged Andy had more than enough experience managing brooding drunk cops. Oliver agreed, and with a silent hope, thought to himself - _Who knows maybe it will even lead to something.' _With a reassuring hand on Andy's shoulder and a promise to call him if she needed, Oliver turned to leave. (_Despite everything Oliver was still rooting for team McSwarek._)Andy adjusted the seat, smirking to herself, as she pictured Sam grumbling when he got in after her and his knees hit the dash. '_Will serve him right' _she thought. As she started the truck, she heard a faint slur '_Brakes are touchy.'_ _'Yeah Yeah' _she mumbled in reply.

The ride home was quiet; Sam slumped against the passenger door, nearly drooling on the window. The closer she got to Sam's, the more anxious she felt. She wasn't looking forward to going back in that house. After all, she hadn't been there since before _THAT NIGHT._ She didn't even want to think about how much of her old stuff was now replaced by someone else's. _'Ugg'_ she breathed out as she pulled into the drive – Nick pulling to the curb behind her. Sliding down from the driver's seat, she took a deep breath and headed towards the front door, as Nick attempted to get Sam out of the passenger side. Catching Sam, as he nearly toppled out when the door opened, Nick stood him up and tried to get him to the door. Two steps out of the truck, a very unsteady Swarek was pushing Nick off of him. Leaning on the truck for balance, Sam growled '_Hands off Army Boy.'_ Nick nodded with a calm grin and backed away with hands up in surrender. _(Nick wasn't the type to take a cheap shot, but God what he wouldn't give to go a few rounds with the almighty Swarek.)_ Noticing her bullheaded ex, Andy headed back down the steps to help Sam to the porch. Mouthing an apology to Nick, over she and Sam's shoulders, she steadied herself under Sam's weight and got them both to the door. On the porch, Sam grumbled something close to '_McNally, I think your boyfriend is trying to have his way with me.'_ Rolling her eyes, and more than a little annoyed, Andy quipped 'Yeah I know, Sam, your totally his type.' Nick followed them in, giving them both some distance, but smirking to himself at Swarek's reference to Nick as Andy's boyfriend.

Andy got Sam to his bedroom and to the bed. Huffing out a breath, she quickly tried to help him with his clothes. She managed to lose the tie and his shoes fairly easily; and moved on to unbutton his shirt. She paused after the buttons, knowing it was his belt and the button of his pants that she was most dreading. She gulped a breath, closed her eyes and silently telling herself, '_Fake it till you make it McNally.' _She stripped him of his belt and had his pants undone, and at that left him to his own devices – Ignoring a smug remark about her '_Not going to finish what you started McNally?'_ She headed to the bathroom for some Advil and a glass of water. She sat them down on the bedside table and checked Sam's alarm clock. _God she pitied Traci for having to work with him in the morning!_ '_What had he been thinking?' _she asked herself. _'Probably missing Marlo.'_ she figured. (_Though trying not to overthink the fact that she hadn't noticed a single feminine item in the house or the bathroom so far_.) Hand on the knob and another on the light switch, Andy glanced back - Sam seemingly already asleep in his clothes and on top of the comforter. She turned to go, when she heard a faint '_I miss you Andy._' Switching off the light and stepping into the hallway, she quietly replied '_Sober up Sam.'_

Taking a few extra minutes to preset the coffee maker - '_God she was pathetic'_ she cursed herself - she hung the keys on the hook by the door. (_Again trying not to notice that his spare set was also hanging there.) _She closed the door behind her, locking up with the hide-a-key from around back. She replaced the key and tiredly returned to Nick, waiting patiently for her at the side of the porch. They walked silently down the drive to Nick's truck. Stepping to the curb, she shyly hooked his pinky finger with her index. He stilled at the contact, and nudging him gently with her shoulder, she looked at him with gratitude thanking him for tonight. He nodded, squeezing her and in his, and opened the passenger door. Walking around to the driver's side, he secretly hoped she was thankful for _all_ he had done with her tonight. They drove without conversation and Nick parked outside Andy's building. She hesitated briefly before placing her and on his arm and kissing him lightly on the cheek. They parted silently and he watched until the lights flickered on in Andy's apartment. Nick rubbed a hand over the place Andy had kissed and smiled to himself. Flipping on the radio, he chuckled when American Authors' Best Day of My Life sang through the speakers. Nick had hoped to be the one to help Andy get over Sam but it seemed that Swarek was helping her do that all by himself. (_He made a mental note to thank him later._)


	4. The Morning After

Actually having been able to fall right to sleep when she got home, Andy woke early the next morning. Unfortunately for her, her overthinking brain flipped on full force at daybreak. She decided the best course of action would be a good run before work. Making her laps around the park, she realized, surprisingly, the thoughts that were tumbling around in her mind were more about Nick and his confession to her and less about her less than stellar night with Sam. (_She wondered if that was a good or bad thing?!_) Making her way back to her apartment, she showered and grabbed her things for work.

She changed into her uniform and stepped into the break room for her coffee. Seeing Sam, barely alive and lumped over the counter, she knew this would definitely be a no sugar, lots of cream, extra hot kind of morning. She eased herself over to him, taking in his day old stubble and bedhead, tentatively asking '_Soooooooooo…..You ok this morning?'_ Getting a faint grunt in reply, Andy nodded and turned towards the door. Mustering anything close to courage, Sam spoke '_Uh Andy, Umm about what I said last night…'_ Turning around, and noting Marlo coming towards Sam from the other door, Andy taunted '_Don't worry Sam. I'll make sure Collins knows you're not REALLY his type.'_ Smiling, she stepped into the hall as Nick was coming passed the door. Hip checking him playfully she greeted, '_Morning Budddy!'_ He replied with a smile, '_Morning Partner,'_ plopping an arm around her shoulder.

Leaning against the counter, Sam watched the exchange, as a curious Marlo angled to his side. Observing his obviously disheveled state, she didn't need to be a detective to realize he was battling a raging hangover. Acknowledging that he was being studied, Sam explained '_Open bar at the reception…. Had a little too much to drink,'_ hoping it would relieve her need to ask questions. Of course, his hope was short-lived. She furrowed her brow, as if his explanation only peaked her curiosity, and asked '_So you got drunk and made a pass at Collins?!'_ She asked in shock. Slightly amused at her conclusion, but deciding this was better than the alternative – (_explaining that his ex drove him home, helped him undress and get to bed while he confessed he that he missed her_) – Feigning embarrassment, he offered an innocent shrug, and replied '_Yep,'_ popping the P. Surprisingly, she accepted this strange confession and shook her head with a smirk. She headed to parade and he let out a sigh of relief as he headed to his to the D's office. '_God, when had he become such a tool?_' he asked himself.

Passing in the hall, Oliver clapped a hand on his shoulder and offered his sage wisdom '_Hair of the dog my friend – The cure for what ails you_.' Sam grunted in reply, but not before Oliver muttered '_that and McNally' _under his breath.

Rolling his eyes under his lids, he made it to his office. '_Thank God I made detective_' he thought, grateful that he could work with paper today rather than people. He wasn't sure if he was safe for human contact – today especially.

He dropped himself to his chair with a groan and let his head fall to the desk, knocking it against the laminate top before sitting up and making eye contact with his partner. Traci had that look in her eye, a glance that held both sympathy and disapproval. It hadn't been the first time she had looked at him like that; though he wasn't sure which part of that glance he was most ashamed of. Poking his arm with the end of her pen as she walked out to the evidence room, '_Lunch is on me today_' she offered casually. Sam knew she was just having his back, and he had grown to appreciate having her as a partner. She had good instincts and detective work came naturally to her. She never pushed him to share much personally, but gradually he was learning to trust her more. If he were being honest, he was grateful because she allowed him to maintain a shred of connection with both Jerry and Andy.

He finished some case notes and before he knew it his stomach was growling – he hadn't trusted himself to keep anything solid down at breakfast. Traci laughed, saying '_I guess that's my cue to buy you lunch. Come on partner let's get outta here.'_ Nodding with a smirk that didn't meet his eyes – _let's be honest no smile, smirk or grin ever met his eyes these days. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he genuinely laughed _– He grabbed his brown leather jacket and headed out.

Traci picked a burger joint a few blocks away – promising Sam the greasy food would work a miracle for his hangover. They sat quietly, much like the time with Andy on their way to Sudbury. Traci wasn't going to prod him, but she hoped her patience would pay off. Pushing a fry to the inside of his cheek and looking down at his plate, Sam blurted '_I told her I missed her_!'

_'Ok….'_ Traci said, raising and eyebrow with a hopeful smile. Her smile faded, however, as Sam explained his drunken fiasco. '_She doesn't believe me, Traci.' _Sam said, as if confused, and with his eyes still fixed on his plate. Traci listened and gently offered, '_Sam you were drunk and are still dating someone else. What part of that seems believable to you?'_ Sam huff out a tired breath and nodded with a self-deprecating shrug.

They walked back to the barn, neither of them knowing what else to say. Traci giving Sam some space, knowing that it took a lot for him to open up to her. As they got to the station, Traci nudged his elbow asking '_How about you come to Leo's birthday party – it's two Sundays from now at the rec center park? He wanted a basketball party this year. He'd really like it if you came – I think he's pretty fascinated by the mysterious Uncle Sammy_….' Earning a chuckle from Sam, she settled for his '_We'll see_' answer.


	5. The Park on Sundays

Chapter 5: The Park on Sundays

It had been 2 weeks since the wedding extravaganza. Sam was aloof as usual – never mentioning the drunken debacle again; and it was back to business as usual for Andy and Nick. They had been partnered together most days and Andy was thankful that he seemed to be keeping his promise and giving her time. They hadn't spent much time together outside of work other than the regular round at The Penny and she realized that she was beginning to miss hanging out. She decided to see if he might be willing to go with her to Leo's birthday party. She figured it would be a good opportunity to spend time together among friends, without the pressure of a date. (_Not to mention she wouldn't have to sit at the kiddy table if she brought along another grown-up._) She asked him over lunch while they were on patrol. Arms stretched out on the back of the booth, he sat back to get a good look at her. Giving her a playful grin he asked, '_Well now Andy McNally, are you asking me _to be_ your plus one_?!' '_Yep'_ she smirked, with a slight blush, while stealing fries from his plate.

Sunday came quickly and Andy was excited. She had Leo's party in the afternoon and an important date with her dad in the evening. '_Everything about this day was going _to be_ good!_' She told herself. She had the perfect gift for Leo (3 tickets to a Raptors game) and her dad was picking up his 1 year sobriety chip. Nick told her he'd pick her up on the way to Leo's, as he didn't mind that she would have to leave the party early to make it to her dad's AA meeting and because the AA clubhouse was on close to his apartment. Not surprising, Nick was on time and leaning against his truck, as Andy bounded from the building - the birthday card tucked between her lips while she was trying to pull back her hair…. '_Gees I'm ever going to figure out this on time thing?'_ He greeted her with a knowing smile and opened the passenger door so she could hop in. She couldn't help but feel the warm feeling in her chest when she realized that Nick had taken time to get Leo a present too - A Raptors hoodie. _'Hum, I guess great minds do think alike'_ she thought to herself. _ (How had she not known that Nick was a Raptors fan?)_

Across town, Sam was all but begging Marlo to go with him. He had just assumed she'd be up for it. '_I mean didn't all women like kids and birthday parties?!' _He asked himself as he recalled a late night run to Tommy's house, complete with apple flips and party hats. But to his surprise, Marlo pleaded out saying she wouldn't feel comfortable and asking him to understand. Deciding that he wasn't going to push her, he gave in. Suddenly he was less than thrilled to be going alone. (_Would he look like a creeper loitering around with no wife or kids of his own?_ '_No… He was not going to over think an 8 year-old's birthday!') _Reminding himself that he was Sam Swarek, former king of undercover and general bad ass, he cranked his truck and drove in the direction of the park. (_Besides, maybe he might actually take an opportunity to have a sober, not hungover, conversation with Andy… Hell, at the rate he was going a plain Hello would be a good start!)_

Andy and Nick met Traci, Steve and Leo at the rec center. Nick and Steve went to collect the gym equipment from the storage closet and Andy helped Traci bring everything in from the car. Dov, Chloe and Chris arrived together, Chris having just transferred back from Timmons after he and Denise had a split. Chris played with Leo while Chloe helped Andy with the table decorations, and Dov helped Traci hang the party banners. Sam came in at the same time as Oliver and his three girls. Stepping into the gym, Sam couldn't help but notice the tension he usually carried in his shoulders seemed to release slightly just seeing Andy there. That release vanished quickly however, his feet turning to lead, as he saw Collins coming back in with Steve. Taking note of his friend's sudden stop, Oliver gave a friendly slap on the back and taunted '_Come on Uncle Sammy, Time to get this party started._'

Leo unwrapped his gifts and beamed when he opened the tickets from Andy. Leo loved spending time with Andy, especially doing anything sports related as Traci was more of a cheerleader than a teammate. He was stoked to go the game. He immediately reached to pull on the Raptors hoodie from Nick, and seemed genuinely excited about the Best of Globetrotters DVD from Sam – Begging Sam's attention as he tried his best to dribble the basketball between his legs.

They all sang happy birthday and cut the cake. The kids played until their hearts were content – now wired out of their minds on sugar and soft drinks. The adults mingled and laughed at the kids who were all totally convinced that they were the next NBA stars. Standing by the bleachers with Traci and Oliver, Sam tried to ignore Nick and Leo playing 2 on 1 with Andy…. (_Also trying hard not to think about that 3__rd__ Raptors ticket_.)

After giving Nick and the birthday boy a thorough schooling in basketball 101, Andy began making the rounds to say her goodbyes. She headed towards Traci, with Leo and Nick coming behind her. Traci and Oliver had known about Andy's night with her dad and were both sincerely happy for the two McNallys. Traci had offered to move the party to Saturday, but Andy refused, knowing that the rec center would be cheaper for Traci on Sunday. Traci insisted Leo wouldn't be disappointed if Andy had to leave a little early. As Andy approached Traci, Oliver and Sam, Leo was trying on his best sad eyes and begging Andy to come over and watch his new DVD. When she kissed him on the forehead and explained she couldn't watch it with him tonight but promised another, Sam abruptly found himself coming to Leo's defense jeering '_Come on McNally, Who's more important than the birthday boy? You got a big date or something?' _ As soon as he said it he knew he was being an ass. But it was when Andy's face fell, the color leaving her cheeks at the same time as the smile left her lips, that his gut flipped and bile threatened his throat. Traci and Oliver stood gobsmaked, and Nick instinctively stood a little taller. Lifting her chin, Andy gave a curt '_Or something' _in reply. Quickly hugging Traci goodbye, patting Leo on the head, and getting an apologetic look from Oliver, she turned to go. Nick put his arm around her slumped shoulders as they excited the other side of the gym.

Earning a well-deserved whack to the back of his head from Oliver and a sharp look from Traci, Sam shook his head acknowledging their disapproval and his regret. Leaning over to him, Traci explained '_You know I didn't invite you here so you could use my kid to take a cheap shot at Andy.'_ With that, she left him to collapse down on the bleachers next Oliver. '_Brother…'_ Oliver said shaking his head, as Sam slumped forward resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. '_Look I know you're going through something tough but this – hurting Andy for kicks – that isn't you and it's gotta stop! You need to get away…. clear your head and maybe get some perspective. How bout we take off next weekend and head out to the cabin. We'll drink a few beers and play some poker. It will do us both some good.'_ Breathing out a tired sigh, Sam agreed, though not at all convinced that a cabin in the woods was going to do the trick. Clapping a hand on Sam's shoulder, Oliver joked '_Alright it's all set then. Next weekend starts _- _Operation Get Sammy's Zen Back!'_

Turning to head home, Sam ruffled Leo's hair and wished him happy birthday. Apologizing again to Traci, Sam said goodbye. Driving home, he wanted to find a dark hole and live there until he could forget. He knew he was the one at fault for the situation he found himself in, but somehow one look at Andy and Collins, and his mouth spewed venom and sarcasm. _Oliver was right_. _When was he going to stop hurting the one person he cares about the most?!_

Andy had been quiet on the ride over to the clubhouse, her mind still dissecting Sam's behavior. '_What is going on with him? I mean, he dumped me! He moved on! Aren't I the one who's supposed _to be_ angry and bitter? Haven't I been trying my best _to be_ nice to Marlo and happy for him?' _She hadn't always understood Sam Swarek, but lately she seems to barely even know him.

Nick parked in front of the AA clubhouse. Andy turned to thank him for the ride, but instead decided to take a leap and invite him along. Sharing her private life, especially her Dad, was a big step and Nick knew this was an offer he wouldn't refuse. Smiling, she grabbed his hand and pulled him with her to the clubhouse doors.


	6. Something More Than This

**Ok just a little sneak peek in case I start to lose some of you. I appreciate the reviews and am stoked that you like the story! I had most of the story already written before I started to publish so I know where I'm going and the general end game. Although in the real RB, I'm actually a big McCollins fan... I know that I'm in the minority so all you McSwarek's never fear - Sam's going to get some good things in due time, but you better believe I'm not going to make it easy for him. ;)**

Chapter 6: Something More Than This

The week after the party had been painfully slow. So far, Andy had been paired with Nick twice and Marlo once. She and Marlo were finding more comfortable footing working together, but it still made for some awkward tension. Today she was paired with Dov. She drove as he rattled on about Oliver, a cabin and poker with '_Swarek._' '_I mean, Andy, we've really made it now – totally NOT just rookies anymore. I'm finally one of the guys… Brothers!'_ He jabbered excitedly. Andy smiled faintly at Dov's excitement. She knew all too well about Dov's Swarek-sized man crush. _'I hope Sam will at least be nice to him.'_ She thought to herself. She didn't want to rain on Dov's man party parade, but the last person she wanted to talk about these days was Sam. She had been meticulous in her efforts to avoid him at all costs since the birthday party. Not in the mood to be his personal punching bag. Shift was drawing to a close as Andy and Dov got back to the barn. Dov practically sprinted to the locker room, not wanting to be late for his poker play date, while Andy agreed to finish up their paperwork. She hoped to get out of there at a decent time, agreeing to grab a bite to eat with Nick at the Penny before going over to Traci's for a date with Leo and a certain Globetrotter's DVD.

Walking down the bullpen, the second shift staff sergeant called out '_Listen up everybody…'_ Dov, Chris, Oliver and Sam came out of the locker room just as Andy and Nick followed the second shift crowd to the parade room. Already dressed in their street clothes, Oliver hustled the four of them out the door before they could get called to work late.

In the parade room the staff sergeant reported they needed '_all hands on deck'_ due to a bust on the edge of 15 and 27 Division. Sergeant explained 27 had made the bust and secured the house, but had called in 15 to finish up with the dirty work – tearing down a major marijuana grow op. Noting Nick's raised eyebrow, Andy shrugged to answer his silent question and they partnered up to head to the grow house. She would call Traci on the way to explain.

She and Nick were first from 15 on the scene. The grow house had been taped off, and two officers from 27 were sitting in a cruiser parked in the drive. The two officers from 27 explained they had been assigned to watch the house until 15 arrived. Andy only nodded - Not letting the Candy Crush game open on the 27 Division officer's phone go unnoticed.

Not needing to wait for back up because the house had been secured, Andy and Nick headed and down to the basement. The lower level looked like they had just stepped into Cheech and Chong's personal stash. They stopped to don the gloves and the paper-like protective suites they had been given to prevent contamination. Andy had her suite on and zipped (gun trapped inside the paper barrier) before Nick could get his halfway up. Walking further into the room and past a long metal table she startled as she felt the cool edge of a machete rest against her throat from behind a row of pot leaves hanging up to dry. Just as Cloe and 3 others from 15 came down the stairs, a trembling male stepped from the row of leaves with Andy pasted to his front and the machete still on her neck. Nick had drawn his gun instantly at the sound of Andy's sharp intake of air. He held his aim steady as the young man came into full view, yelling at the officers to '_Get out, Just Get Ouuut! I'll kill her if you don't. Get out! I mean it. Get out NOW!'_ Cloe and the others took cue from Nick and backed out of the house slowly – Nick hoping it would diffuse some of the perp's agitation.

Still pointing his gun, Nick calmly explained '_I'm sorry but I'm not going to leave my partner, no way, no how. We can talk this out and find another option._' _'Noooo Nooo NO NO, that's not going to work. You guys have to get outta here and I gotta get this shit moved.' 'Put the gun down!_' The guy suddenly yelled, seemingly switching between thinking out loud and yelling at Nick. Schooling his features and taming his heartbeat, Nick looked at Andy for confirmation. A faint nod from Andy and Nick holstered his weapon. Raising his hands in a show of surrender, Nick started talking. '_Ok dude, I put my gun down now about you do something for me – put the knife away so my partner and I can help you._'

'_No No NO… You can't help me! You can't help me unless you leave. I can't get busted! My distributor will kill me! I have to have a certain amount each month or I'm dead_.' The confession told Nick that the guy was more afraid of dying than going to jail…. This gave Nick an advantage. Nick explained calmly that the longer the guy held Andy, the less likely he would make it out alive – telling him SWAT would not be far off by now. Nick told the guy if he put the knife down he could make a deal with the DA and the Department could give him a chance for a new life somewhere safe, with the distributors behind bars. Stepping a little closer as he talked, he pleaded '_So come on man, help yourself out here! Let my partner go_.'

Feeling her captor's heartbeat slow ever so slightly, knowing that he was considering Nick's words, Andy capitalized on her captor's moment of weakness. Pulling down on his arm and slinging her head back to slam against his face; in one shift but calculated move she freed herself from the machete's edge. She stumbled away from her captor, as Nick pulled him to the ground and cuffed him. They walked him up the steps and out the door, radioing to the units outside that the stand-off was over. Getting him to the cruiser, Andy slumped forward, resting her hands on her knees, as the adrenaline drained from her body. Standing at her side with his hand on her back, she breathed out a heavy breath and leaned into his embrace. Wrapping his arms around her, Nick caught the breath that had been stuck in his throat.

Back at the barn, Nick and Andy observed the interview from behind the mirror. The perp was only 20 and had obviously found himself way in over his head. He was trembling as he cut a deal and flipped on the distributor… None other than Anton Hill! Squeezing her shoulder, Nick lightened the heavy atmosphere saying, '_All in a day's work partner… So how bout breakfast since we seemed to have missed our chance at dinner_?' Smiling tiredly, Andy nodded. They changed into their civvies and Nick agreed to make his famous tomato omelets since neither of them had the energy to be anywhere other than home.

Nick's apartment was sparse but tidy – a studio with a kitchenette that opened up to a bed on the back wall and a large sectional couch facing the TV on the opposite side. Sitting on the couch, they ate their omelets in relative silence. '_God I AM a danger magnet!'_ she scolded herself as she thought about her day and yet another close call. Turning to Nick, she finally knew what she wanted… _(at least for now.)_ She hadn't had a permanent partner since Sam, but after today, she knew she wanted to go to work each day with Nick having her back. They were a good team both undercover and on the beat. She didn't know what this would mean for their relationship in the future – (_IF there ended up being one, but she'd have to cross that bridge if she came to it?!)_ Looking up at him, she asked tentatively; and without hesitation he pulled her into a hug. Smiling brightly, he replied with a simple '_Of course_.'

Finally relaxed and feeling full, sleep overtook Andy – her eyes closing even as her hands still held her plate. Nick gently pried the plate from her fingers and laid her down on the couch – her feet resting in his lap as he stretched out his legs on the other side of the L-shaped sectional. Breathing out a sigh, he also found sleep – resting easily with Andy at his side.

-MEANWHILE AT THE CABIN-

Piling into Oliver's car, the guys got on the road trying to miss rush hour traffic. Getting on the interstate, figuring he would be going too fast for Sam to leap from the moving car, Oliver pushed play on his most recent playlist. '_Operation Get Sammy's Zen Back begins NOW!'_ He chuckled silently to himself. Wanting to start the playlist off slow, hoping Sam wouldn't tune out immediately; Oliver played The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley.

I'm learning to live without you now  
But I miss you sometimes  
The more I know, the less I understand  
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again  
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter  
But my will gets weak  
And my thoughts seem to scatter  
But I think it's about forgiveness  
Forgiveness  
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

The quiet stare Sam was making at of the passenger window didn't go unnoticed by Oliver. Taking another risk, he not so subtly skipped to Passenger, playing Let Her Go.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

Needing to hear only the first verse, Sam swiftly hit the skip button – and sent a very threatening glare towards the driver's side. Raising his hand in mock surrender, Oliver feigned innocence saying '_Oh sorry brother, that's a tough one… Totally forgot it was in the mix_.' Sam sat back with a grunt, but not before Rush's Madrigal started to play.

When the dragons grow too mighty  
To slay with pen or sword  
I grow weary of the battle  
And the storm I walk toward  
When all around is madness  
And there's no safe port in view  
I long to turn my path homeward  
To stop a while with you

Sam made it through the song but quickly pulled the plug on the iPod after the words from his favorite band played out. Oliver considered using Sam's own words against him ('_My car… My rules_!'), but thought better of not wanting to push his friend entirely over the edge. Finally, after a two-hour drive ('_And the play list from Hell'_, thought Sam) the boys pulled up at the cabin.

The boys unloaded their gear and got a fire started in the wood stove. Once settled, they pulled out the card table and Oliver dealt the first hand. Sam was sporting a straight flush when Dov's phone rang, playing Chloe's ringtone. Annoyed that the rookie interrupted the game, Sam stopped his eye rolling as soon as Dov said '_Wait. What?! Hostage?!_' Chris, Oliver and Sam sat frozen, waiting for more information. Instantly Sam shoved himself from the table and paced a hole in the floor as '_Oh Shit, Andy_?!' tumbled from the rookie's mouth. Listening as Chloe described the scene like something from a McCollins fairytale, Dov was desperately trying to get the facts, recognizing that the brooding man in front of him was about to blow. Nodding as if begging Chloe to get to the point, Dov thanked his unassuming girlfriend for the call and told her he'd call her back later. Waiting with bated breath, Sam kicked his chair across the room and stormed out of the cabin as soon as Dov explained what happened.

Oliver followed his best friend, giving him some space - Sam barging through the woods as if seeking asylum from the emotions that threatened his ragged fortress. Finally ending his woodland campaign, Sam sat himself on a small boulder protruding up from his newly blazed tail. '_Probably covered in Poison Oak_,' he mocked himself. Oliver silently took a seat next to him, clamping a hand down on his shoulder and reminding him '_She's safe Sam. She made it out. That's the important thing tonight._' Sam sat quietly before acknowledging his friend's words. Though his voice laced with defeat and grief and his eyes fixed on the ground in front of him, Sam finally spoke. '_I can't do this, Ollie. I can't keep living like this – not without her. I miss her man – I do! I know there's got to be more than this…. More with her! I want to be the one protecting her… holding her. I want to be the one with her at the Park on Sundays._'

Oliver nodded in agreement, though Sam had yet to look his way. He was relieved that his friend had finally admitted to what everyone else had already known. Giving Sam some time for the magnitude of his own words to sink in, Oliver tightened the grip on Sam's shoulder. Choosing his words carefully, Oliver responded, '_I hear you brother and I can't agree more. I hope you know that I'll do whatever I can to help you. BUT… first things first - there's someone else you have to consider before you can focus on McNally_.' _'Marlo!'_ Sam suddenly realized - the memory of his current girlfriend hitting him like a ton of bricks._ God, how had he totally blanked her out of his mind?! F-ing Damn it, he had made a mess of his life!_

Feeling as if a small portion of a weight had been lifted, Sam stood with Oliver to make their way back to the cabin. Sam knew what he had to do once they got back to the city – He knew he'd have to end things with Marlo, no matter how bleak his chances may be with Andy. Marlo was a beautiful woman and she had been putting up a gallant effort to secure Sam's happiness, but he tonight he finally admitted to himself that he could never love her like she deserved… _She'd never be McNally_. Thinking back to the conversation with Andy after Dakota, Sam had been honest when he said '_She's not you_.' _If only he had realized the full weight of those words._ Sam and Oliver made it back to the cabin, neither Chris nor Dov daring to pry; and the four decided to call it a night. Sam knew, however, that sleep wouldn't come easily - These days his brain had an allergy to silence.

Getting back home the next day, Sam drove straight to Marlo's – not wanting to lose what little nerve he had left. He was ashamed to admit his truth to Marlo and dreading the hurt he was going to cause her. Nevertheless, he knew it had to be done. He pulled into her drive and breathed deep before knocking on the door. The conversation was brief – she giving him the chance to finish all he came to say before quietly conceding that she hadn't been surprised. She had hoped that they'd have enough time together for him to finally move on, but she knew it was a longshot. She admitted she had felt a shift in their relationship as soon as Andy came back, though it seems they both had tried to ignore it. Needing an opportunity to rebuild the safety net that had just been pulled out from under her, she inquired tentatively, '_I know you need to go after her Sam. I get it. And I know this may be a lot to ask, but if you don't mind… give me just a little time? Let me figure out what I need to do to for myself before I have to face working with the two of you together_?'

Understanding her request and knowing it was the least he could do, Sam agreed. Sam knew he could spare Marlo the time she needed, as his getting Andy back wasn't going to an easy task. He had broken her trust. He left her without a fight. Even worse was the hurt he had thrown her way because of his own jealousy and regret. It would take time and probably a marathon of baby steps to just to get Andy to stop avoiding him. _He's also fairly certain that he will need Divine intervention before he musters the courage tell Andy how he feels -_ _AGAIN_. _Nope, Marlo needn't worry! She wouldn't have to witness his happily ever after for a very long time… if ever._


	7. Making Sure It's Worth It

Andy woke up at Nicks after a nearly 3 hour nap. She smiled (_and couldn't help notice that fluttering feeling in her stomach again_) when she saw Nick sleeping on the other end of the couch holding her feet in his lap, one hand lying on her ankle. She got up quietly; gently swinging her legs off his lap and out from under his hand. She quickly grabbed a sticky note off the pad on the fridge and wrote '_Thanks for breakfast… and the nap…. Oh and saving my life. The next round at the Penny is on me! See you Monday, Partner_.' Giggling at her own antics, she lightly stuck the note to his chest before turning to go. Getting home she showered and called Traci, filling her in on the '_Double Shift from Hell.'_ She promised to reschedule her date with Leo, and asked if he would mind if she waited until her next day off. Thankful that her best friend was ok; Traci understood completely, telling Andy to lay low for the weekend and take care of herself. Traci said goodbye, but not before playfully reminding Andy that she still expected details about Andy's '_powernap with Mr. Permanent Partner Nick_.' Blushing, and really thankful Traci couldn't see her through the phone, Andy laughed and hung up with an exaggerated '_Goodbye Traci!'_

Monday morning came quickly, though Andy was ready to get back. She headed straight to Frank's office before going to the locker room. He was more than happy to assign Nick as her permanent partner; and had been floating on cloud nine after Andy was safe and the kid ratted on Hill. He didn't need to be convinced that a McCollins partnership would serve 15 well.

Andy headed back to the locker room, still needing to get into uniform before parade. Marlo was standing quietly at her locker as Andy rushed in. Pulling down the picture from her locker door and brushing away some renegade tears, Marlo quickly tried to leave. Only noticing the slump in Marlo's usually confident posture, Andy asked tentatively '_Hey Marlo… you ok_?' Without eye contact, Marlo gave a quick '_Yep. Yeah, I'm fine'_ as she dashed toward the exit. Andy made a mental note to keep an eye out for Marlo. Andy had kept Marlo's secret and she was hoping that she wouldn't end up regretting it if Marlo was having trouble. Somewhere along the way, the two women had forged a mutual understanding; neither of them wanting to let their feelings about a certain detective get in the way of their professionalism.

Parade started and Frank briefed his officers on the shift ahead. As he called out the pairings for the day, he chuckled saying '_Oh and congratulations to 15's newest permanent partnership, Andy McNally and Nick Collins. Everyone give them a round of applause - Not only did they have one another's back in a very dangerous situation, but they pulled the thread that will hopefully unravel Anton Hill_!' Hating the attention having been drawn to both of them, they acknowledged their co-workers whoops and hollers. Calling everyone back to order, Frank dismissed them with a 'Serve, Protect and Well done McCollins!'

Sam stood stock-still at the back of the room, _Andy and Nick… McCollins?! Anton Hill?! As is, HIS Anton Hill_!? It was too much to take in at once. He fumbled his way back to his desk, trying to let reality catch up with him. His instinct was to be snide and scoff (_the thought of Army Boy getting his girl and his white while_) but he reminded himself that he was starting over. He was trying to stay objective. He had no right to begrudge Nick for stumbling on Hill's weakest link, and certainly not for protecting Andy. _How was it possible that this was turning out to be even harder than he imagined?_

Thankfully, shift ended without incident and Nick and Andy made way to the Penny. Nick took up a game of darts with Chris and Dov, and Andy grabbed a table with Traci and Chloe. After Traci refused to help rescue her from Chloe's interrogation into the now infamous McCollins partnership, Andy jumped at the chance to head to the bar and order her drinks - not forgetting that she still owed Nick the first round. She cringed when she saw the only open spot was next to Sam. Straightening her shoulders, she emboldened herself saying '_It's now or never McNally – you can't avoid him forever_.' Coming to the bar and trying to stand as far away from him as possible (as much space as a bar stool will allow) she called out her order to Liam. Twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but Sam, she stood anxiously waiting. Feeling a familiar set of brown eyes looking over at her, she hesitantly glanced his direction. '_Hey_,' He said weakly. Not able to keep eye contact for more than a second, she glanced up and replied with a soft '_Hi_.' '_God, she can't even look at me… probably just waiting for me to say something asinine,' _Sam scolded himself. '_Sooo Anton, uh?! That's big. Congratulations, McNally_,' He said nervously. '_Yeah, Uh…Thanks. Lucky shift I guess'_ she responded faintly. _ 'They don't know if it will be enough to bring him down, but they've moved it up to Guns and Gangs, so I guess we'll see_,' she shrugged. Seeing Marlo enter the bar, Andy grabbed her drinks and turned in the direction of her table. Determined not to let an opportunity pass by, a grinning Oliver stepped up just in time to keep her at the bar. Coming behind Sam and clapping a hand on his shoulder before pulling Andy back into a sideways hug he chuckled saying, '_So McNally…. Anton Hill Eh? Well done grasshopper_!' Smiling genuinely, she thanked him. Turning to look at Sam, Oliver continued, '_Yep, that McNally… Always gets her guy! Isn't that right Sammy_?' Stunned, Sam nearly choked on his scotch. Andy blushed a deep shade of red and headed back to her table. It wasn't until later that she noticed Marlo sitting across the room, and never once with Sam.

Smirking at his lack of subtleties, he pulled up a stool next to Sam. Glancing at Oliver, Sam admitted _'She can't even look at me Ollie?!' 'Of course not brother – but you've only just begun. One small step for mankind… One gigantic leap for Sam Swarek_,' Oliver reminded him as he bought Sam an extra round. With a wink and a shrug, Oliver explained he had to get home and check on Celery. (_He had to make sure the plants she was growing for her newest potion were legal_.) '_Keep the faith, Brother_,' he called out over his shoulder.

It had been a week since the shift from hell and the boys' night at the cabin. As promised, on her next day off, Andy spent the day with Traci and Leo. She and Leo watched the Globetrotters DVD until he had to lay down for a nap – having been to his Dad's the night before and staying up past his usual bedtime. Giving him a hug as he shuffled off to his room, Andy promised they'd have another 'Aunt Andy date' soon. Glad to have some down time together, they sat chatting and watching re-runs of Sex in the City. '_Sooo speaking of Mr. Big, You know Sam and Marlo broke up?!'_ Traci asked, making a pathetic attempt to segue.

Nearly choking on a sip of wine, Andy didn't know how to feel. She sat quietly for a moment, absorbing the information. At first she felt a small twinge of hope flutter to her heart, but she promptly squashed it, reminding herself that their break up likely had nothing to do with her. With that in mind, she actually felt bad – bad for Marlo. She knew Marlo cared for Sam – _had even admitted that she loved him _– and Andy knew better than anyone the damage that accompanied a Swarek break up. '_Ugg_.' She thought to herself. '_Why can't anything ever be easy_?!'

Turning to Traci and looking down at her nervous fingers picking at the rim of her wine glass, Andy finally spoke. '_Honestly Trace, I just feel bad for Marlo. Thinking about it now, I'm not sure that news should have much to do with me. I mean Sam and I have been a part for a while. We barely speak these days and on the occasion that we do, it's either very awkward or really hurtful. I don't think we are the people we used to be. He's changed and I'm trying to make some changes too_.' '_And one of those changes being Nick_?' Traci interrupted – asking partly out of her own curiosity and partly to see if there might still be hope for her detective partner. Blushing lightly and looking up to face her friend, Andy answered '_Yeah… yeah I think maybe so_.'

Traci knew that a part of Andy McNally would always love Sam Swarek, but Traci was afraid that part of Andy was closing off more and more each day – especially each day Andy spent with Nick. Traci wanted nothing more than for Andy to be happy and to find real love – a love that she could feel secure in and enjoy. Traci understood that Sam's leaving her had hurt Andy even worse than Luke's betrayal. Sam had done exactly what Andy had always been afraid he would do – the one thing that kept her from choosing him in the first place. Despite this, Traci felt for Sam because she knew it was his worst regret and she had seen first-hand that he hadn't been the same since. Even though she still hoped Sam could have a chance to fix things for himself and Andy, Traci acknowledged that Andy could probably find something very real with Nick. He was solid, loyal… _and obviously head over heels in love_ _with her._ He was also super-hot and just 'bad-boy' enough to keep Andy entertained. '_Oh Sam_.' Traci thought to herself. _You've got your work cut out for you, and it looks like it's going to get harder every day_!'

That night, Andy tossed and turned – her thoughts rumbling through her mind as sleep eluded her. '_Should she wait for Sam? Was he worth the risk - AGAIN!? Or should she let herself try with someone else? Was she ready to give Nick a shot?_' Giving up on sleep as the sunlight crept in her windows; she decided a long run would do her good. She and nick had made a habit while undercover so she thought she'd call him to join. Nick was always up early… '_Can take the boy out of the Army but you can't take the Army out of the boy_,' she scoffed to herself as he answered '_Morning Partner'_ after first ring. They met at the park halfway between their two apartments. Their usual banter was light and playful and their pace was steady as they ran their usual 5k. Nick was still content just being with Andy. He wasn't going to push her to make a decision, but had been thankful that she seemed to be taking baby steps towards establishing something more with him. '_I'd run beside her for 500k each day if that's what it took,' _He vowed to himself.

Getting to the station after the run, they headed to the locker rooms to change in time for parade. Frank greeted his coppers in the usual fashion and after calling out assignments, beckoned '_McCollins_' to his office. Sharing a glance at one another, Nick and Andy made way to Franks' office only to be met by none other than Luke Callahan and Jacob Blackstone. Getting straight to the point, Frank explained '_Collins and McNally, we wanted to give you a heads up. Callahan and Blackstone have been assigned to build another task force, this time focusing on Hill. The both of you should be prepared to be called in by Guns and Gangs to assist at any time. I expect either of you to be ready to help in whatever way possible_.' With a '_Yes Sir'_ in unison, the pair shook hands with Luke and Blackstone and turned to head out on patrol. Walking out, Luke smirked over his shoulder '_McCollins? Ha. I bet Swarek loves that!_'

Walking out of his office just in time to see Andy and Nick shaking hands with Callahan and Blackstone, Sam stood frozen, panic sitting in his gut like an anvil. '_Undercover?! God, she can't be leaving NOW_?! _Nope. No way. Not going to happen!_' Desperate for information – for her, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the interrogation room as she was walking past. Nick stopped abruptly, but not before he found himself staring at the door shut in front of him. Locking the door behind them, Sam spun Andy around so that he was between her and the door. She stood open-mouthed and shocked in front of him. Almost instinctively, he took a step towards her before catching himself and stopping. He wanted nothing more than to let all of his words tumble out, but as usual he was suddenly mute. After an inquisitive but impatient look from Andy, he finally grunted out '_Uhh sorry for stopping you – it's just uhh it's just something's been bothering me and I needed to get it off my chest_.' '_Oh God, is he really doing this – is he really going to tell me that he wants to start over?_' Andy thought to herself. '_Uh about the wedding and what I said at Leo's party – I was totally out of line and I need you to know how sorry I am_,' Sam stuttered out, wanting to say more but not being able to. '_Stupid Andy_!' She scolded herself for her hopeful presumptions. Trying not to let her face betray her she shrugged it off saying '_Uh yeah. Sure. No problem. Was what it was right? Yeah fine. Really. Totally disregard_,' she rambled as she stepped around Sam and headed towards the door - wishing at that moment that she had the ability to teleport herself to another dimension. '_It was what it was… Damn it Swarek, why did you ever teach her that phrase_!' Sam berated himself. Speaking up before he lost his chance, '_Are you going undercover_!?' - The words rushing out as he stood, still with his back turned away from her (not being able to face her if she was about to answer in the affirmative). Halting mid-step and bewildered as to Sam's seemingly random admissions and questions, Andy shook her head and replied with a quizzical '_No, not that I know of_?' Stepping through the door and to the hall, Andy stilled momentarily to shake herself from her daze. Finding Nick waiting for her, she just shook her head – a silent plea to keep his questions at bay – and headed out of the station to the cruiser.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Sam collects himself as he exited the interrogation room. _Ok so that wasn't exactly how he expected to make his next move, but desperate times call for drastic measures right? _He knows he's still got Nick to contend with, _but_ _at least now he'll still be fighting for Andy on his home turf._

On patrol, Andy made a decision. She was tired… Tired of feeling like a yoyo... Almost a year since they were together, another failed relationship under his belt, and he still wasn't able to be open and forthright. She wasn't going to do it anymore…. It was time to get off the Sam Swarek rollercoaster. Peering over to Nick as he drove, she realized she had a man who was both safe and sexy right in front of her. She knew she trusted him. She knew she cared about him. He had her back… made her laugh… reassured her. _'What had taken her so long to get her crap together_?' she wondered. Making up her mind, she asked '_Hey, uh… so I'm taking Leo to the Raptors game this weekend. Traci opted to use the chance to have a grown up night with Steve, so I have an extra ticket. Wanna come with?_' '_Yeah sure! That would be awesome_!' was his reply. '_Cool kid, good basketball, a beautiful woman… what's to deny_?!' he added with a smirk.


	8. Time and Space

**So here's the next chapter. Like I said before, most of this story was already written before I published any of it so I already had an ending in mind. I didn't change the course of my story for the sake of McSwareks. Its just the way the story came to me from the get go. I've read a few really good McCollins fics (one in particular by FauxPoesFoes) and so far I haven't thought of a McCollins story line that would be any different or any better than what's already out there. Soooo I settled for what came to mind. Most of you have posted some really kind reviews... Linda P especially. So thanks for that. I'm really glad that there are those of you who have enjoyed reading. To those of you who are displeased - the good news is that you can stop reading whenever you want. Enjoy - or not - totally up to you. ;)**

The week wore on; they reported directly to HQ every morning and stayed late each night. Neither of them had been to the barn or the Penny since reporting to headquarters and both were more than a little tired of staring at paperwork and endless boxes. Every day it was case files, coffee, rinse and repeat.

It was Friday morning when Luke finally conceded that they didn't have enough. He explained the plea deal from the grow op was helpful, but witness wasn't creditable so his testimony wouldn't stand alone in court, and all the other evidence so far was only circumstantial. Looking at Blackstone and then back to Nick and Andy, Luke crossed his arms on the table in front of him and admitted that another UC op would be the only option. He acknowledged that they had only been back from Dakota a few months, but had just assumed they'd both be up for it. Telling them to think it over – he dismissed them for lunch.

Both still reeling from Luke's UC bombshell, they walked to the coffee shop around the corner. They ordered their coffees and two sandwiches to go and walked to find a park bench, each of them feeling the need for air. Another UC in less than a year was a lot to consider, but for Nick, the idea of escaping away to another adventure with Andy was more than enough to convince him. He had loved their time in Dakota – _had loved her in Dakota_ - and he would be lying if he said he wouldn't be stoked for an opportunity to build on what they had together. Knowing his answer, Nick waited for Andy to find hers. After some thoughtful silence, Andy spoke quietly – picking at the lid of her cup – '_So this UC… I can't go_.' And just like that, Nick's hopes were pummeled. Trying to maintain an understanding smile, however small, Nick replied with a simple '_Ok_,' encouraging her to continue. She explained that she had met Hill face to face the second day on the job - first day with Sam as her TO. She had been backing him up as he confronted Hill about a confidential informant named Emily. '_But how did Luke not know that you had been burned with Hill?_' Nick asked. '_Well let's just say that the only thing typical about that day was Sam's tendency to 'color outside the lines.' Our visit to Hill wasn't exactly documented in the log books_.' Andy explained.

Taking this in, Nick nodded wistfully. '_Looks like our time together will be over before it even got started_' He acknowledged to himself. '_I'm sorry_.' She said shyly, seeming to read his mind. '_It's ok Andy. You couldn't have predicted this – just the way the chips fell I guess_.' When she looked down regretfully, he took her hand. '_Look, we still have the game tonight and all next week_.' She smiled small at that and nodded in agreement. They would make the most of the weekend as friends, and she would have his back through the next week – being sure that he would go under with a foolproof cover story.

Heading back to HQ, Andy was _not _looking forward to explaining to Luke why she couldn't go with Nick on this op. And as predicted, Luke did not take the news well; shaking his head with a snide huff '_Swarek! Of course… He always seems to have a way to screw me over_!' Letting him finish his tantrum, Andy waited. Finally, standing to meet him eye to eye, she continued '_There's more, Luke, and you aren't going to like it, but it's a nonnegotiable….. You're going to have to call Sam in to help build Nick's cover story. We need him. He knows this case like the back of his hand… he also knows more about Hill than we'll ever find written down in a case file. If I can't go under with Nick, I have to make sure his story is solid – that's the best I can do to have my partner's back. And before you refuse, just know that I will go over your head and call Frank_,' she said confidently - giving him fair warning. Rolling his eyes and clinching a fist, he relented. '_Fine McNally, Whatever you want... but you're making that call on Monday. No way will I be calling Swarek. Until then, the two of you are free to go_.'

Nick drove Andy home, agreeing to pick her up again a few hours so that they could get Leo and head to the game. They were both still a little somber, knowing this would be their first and last date, but both determined to enjoy what time they had left. Nick squeezed her hand has she climbed out of his truck – his best attempt to reassure both of them. Coming to her apartment, she sat herself at the kitchen bar. '_Looks like fate is determined to give me time and space_.' She sighed to herself. Getting over her pity party, Andy headed to get dressed. She opted for her favorite jeans and a v-neck Raptors T, each fitting her perfectly. She added a few swipes of makeup and kept her hair down.

True to his word, Nick knocked on her door right on time. He was wearing his own Raptors hoodie and jeans. _Jeans that hung perfectly around his hips_ – she noticed. '_God, fate was a merciless tease!_ She thought to herself. Pulling the door closed behind them, they stepped out of her apartment. Taking his hand, she pulled herself close to his side, wrapping her other hand across her chest and onto his arm. They both stilled as she looked up at him and admitted '_I'm really going to miss you_!' Understanding how she felt, Nick wrapped her in a hug and placed a kiss to her hair. Breaking out of their little moment, they headed to the truck.

Picking up Leo on the way to the arena - He was practically radiating excitement. Watching Leo's enthusiasm, it was easy for Nick and Andy to relax and have fun. They ordered concessions and bought Leo a foam fan hand. The game was close and kept them on the edge of their seats, but thankfully still ending with a Raptors win. Leo was still buzzing with energy and adrenaline when they finally dropped him back off at home.

Back at the station, the week had been painfully slow for Sam. He nearly had a panic attack when Andy and Nick didn't show for parade Monday morning. _Had she lied to him?! Had she gone UC after all? _Stalking into Frank's office he demanded, '_Where is she Frank_?!' Having Frank assure him that she had only been temporality reassigned to headquarters was a small comfort – though the more he overthought it the less he assurance he felt. Now Andy was_ working with Collins AND Luke_! Every night he waited at the Penny, hoping he'd see her walk through the door – but each night his restlessness grew. By Friday, he had to see her… had to reassure himself that she was still here – still within his reach. He wasn't sure what he would say when he saw her, but he knew he had no other option. He worked late but eventually tied up a case in time to make the drive over to Andy's. Pulling to the curb, his heart stopped as abruptly as his truck. Seeing her was supposed to put him at ease, but this time it had the opposite effect. This time, he instantly wanted to burn the image from his brain. There she was standing in front of her building with Collins – his hands cupping her face… her hands clinging to his shirt… their lips inseparable. He froze momentarily, his hands clinching the steering wheel, before nodding his head in silent resignation and driving away. He made his way to the Penny, hoping Liam had something strong enough to wipe his memory clear.

Finally pulling away from one another, Nick swept his hands through her hair as she laid her head on his chest. Lifting her face towards him, he spoke reluctantly '_Andy, you have to know that I'm only doing UC because it has to be done. I'm not giving up our partnership just for some UC cred. Surely you know by now how much I wish would be going with me… I mean, I need you to know that I've fallen for you Andy - I meant it when I said you were magical. Despite that, I don't expect you to wait… I know we never really got the chance to become more that what we are.' _Looking up at him, she was in awe. It felt so exhilarating to have someone share themselves so openly with her. '_God Her Karma must really suck_!' Acknowledging his words, she pulled him close. '_You're an amazing man, Nick Collins, and right now I really wish things were different, but I know what you have to do and I would never ever hold you back from doing it. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to be valued.'_ Lifting to her toes, she kissed him again, once on the lips and then on his cheek. Relishing having her in his arms, he finally willed himself to step away, letting her hand slip from his as she headed inside her building. '_Best/worst first/last date of my life'_, he murmured to himself as he drove off in the direction of the Penny – hoping a stiff drink could lessen the sting of giving up the girl of your dreams.


	9. Penny For Your Thoughts

Walking into the Penny, Nick had hoped it was late enough that it wouldn't be crowded, but seeing as his luck was running a bit short this week, the place was packed. Nick made his way to the bar. Seeing Swarek there, Nick took a deep breath and stood a little taller – He was not in the mood to for a pissing contest. He stood without a word waiting for his drink. Sam was seated beside him, staring down at the glass in his hands as if waiting for his Scotch to somehow drink itself. Twisting the glass against the bar top, Sam asked '_So McCollins…. Left the other half of the dynamic duo at home?!' 'Uh, yeah guess I did_,' Nick replied, looking over to Sam. '_Wow, you're dumber than I gave you credit for, Collins_,' Sam huffed. '_A word of advice… when a guy has a girl like Andy, he doesn't leave her at home so he can go drink alone_,' Sam finished. '_Oh right I forgot… when I guy has a girl like Andy, he brings her to the bar with him so he can dump her in the parking lot_,' Nick threw back. In an instant, Sam was up and had Nick by the collar pinned to the bar. '_Go to Hell, Collins_!' Sam spewed. Shoving Sam off Nick growled, '_Look Swarek, I know you don't like me – maybe you never did – but you know nothing about Andy and I right now…. So if I were you, I'd keep your comments to yourself_! '_Oh yeah Army Boy, Why's that_?' Sam barked. Stepping into Sam's space, and being sure to meet his eyes, Nick spoke through gritted teeth, '_Because I'm about to give you the opportunity you never deserved. I'm going under at the end of the week; and I can't ask Andy to wait for me for an indefinite amount of time. So it seems Andy and I were over before we started. Everyone knows once I leave there won't be anyone but Andy to stand in your way. I know she still loves you… I didn't have enough time to help her see otherwise… But so help me, Swarek, if you fuck this up again I swear I will come back, and when I do I will love her completely and you will never get her back!' _Leaving his drink at the bar, Nick left without another word.

Stunned, Sam stood motionless watching Collins leave. _Collins forfeiting Andy to go under? But the kiss – what had that meant? God, this stunt tonight would keep the Barn gossip going for weeks, and no doubt Andy will be pissed when she finds out._ Snapping from his thoughts, he threw his drink back and walked out. He drove straight to Andy's apartment, but by this time her lights were out and he knew she was sleeping. Deciding that waking her up in the middle of the night was probably not his best move, he went home. All the while, his mind was still racing…. _Nick's leaving at the end of the week…. Nothing but Andy to stand in my way… She still loves me!?_ All this was good news… _Hell it was the best news he'd had in months_… but somehow he understood that this only made things more complicated. _Maybe she still loves me, but how does she feel about Collins? How does she feel about Collins going under? Did she wish she could go with him? Would she blame me for burning her with Hill? Should I give her time… AGAIN?!_

Andy lay awake wondering how one night could be so bittersweet. Just when she was ready to move forward with Nick fate intervened. _Hadn't she already had enough time and space?!_ _But_ maybe_ it wasn't just about getting through the time and space… Maybe this time she was supposed to make the most of it. Maybe fate was telling her she needed to be alone – maybe she wasn't ready for either guy – good or bad, safe or Sam?_ Despite the questions running rampant through her mind, she finally allowed sleep to take over.

After the night apart, Andy and Nick spent the rest of the weekend together - both of them trying to pretend that this wasn't their last week with one another. They started out with a run on Saturday morning, and spent the rest of the day at Nicks, watching French movies and laughing at themselves for being such lame dorks. Sunday they closed up his apartment and made all the needed arrangements for his time away. They decided that Nick would stay the rest of the work week with Andy – trading off between the couch and the bed like their old UC days. That night they went to a local burrito place and met Traci and Steve for dinner. Back at Andy's after dinner, neither of them were ready for the reality of Monday morning. They sat together quietly for a moment before Nick decided he needed to tell Andy about his run in with Swarek before tomorrow came and she heard from someone else. He hadn't been proud of his behavior, but he certainly didn't regret it. He gave her the short version of the story, leaving out most of his admission to Swarek, but acknowledging that he and Sam both had some choice words for one another. Andy tried not to read too much into what Nick had told her – figuring it was just Sam being Sam. At this point, her only real concern was whether or not Sam would be willing to set aside his personal issues with Nick and help them with the task force. _She wasn't exactly looking forward to that phone call in the morning!_


	10. To Catch a White Whale - Casting Bait

The past week at work Sam only thought he had been antsy to see Andy, but after what he heard from Collins his need to see her turned from impatience to an outright force demanding to be reckoned with. He may have let her sleep the night before, but first thing on Saturday morning he was at her door only to find she wasn't home. He came back twice more, but still no Andy. Sunday was more of the same – _Collins said she still loves me! I_ _have to see her_! - He'd be relentless if he had to. She still wasn't home when he came back Sunday morning and then again Sunday evening – _My God, Where the Hell has she been all weekend_?! - Driving around trying to think, he decided to give in and call Traci. _Surely she knew where Andy would be_. After a few rings, Traci saw the caller ID and greeted '_Hey Sam what's up? Is there a case… need me to come in?_' '_Uh Yeah… No, Listen… I'm trying to track down McNally. Have you seen her_?' She heard Sam say in response. Smiling at this, Traci offered '_Yeah, actually she just left my place after dinner. Give her about 30 minutes and she should be home_.' '_Thanks Traci – I owe you_!' Sam said in a rush. Grinning to herself, Traci replied '_Just go get your girl Swarek_!' Throwing his truck around in the direction of St. Helen's Avenue, Sam pulled up outside Andy's condo. Looking towards her window he saw that her lights were on, but she wasn't alone. Only then did he notice Collins' truck parked across the street. Letting out a frustrated breath, he reaffirmed his resolve…. He would wait. He would wait Nick out, and head up to her apartment as soon as Collins left. Pushing the seat of his truck back a little further and settling in for who knew how long, he sat hold-up waiting for his chance. He waited… and waited…. _Damn it Collins, we all have to work in the morning! Leave already!_ He tried not to pay too much attention to the two shadows… tried not to notice how close they stood or how naturally they both moved through the apartment. He kept waiting, but eventually her lights went out and Collins never left.

The next morning Andy and Nick made their way to headquarters. Steeling her nerves, Andy dialed Sam as she and Nick walked from her building. '_Andy_!?' Sam answered. His voice was thick with sleep and she could tell she had woken him up. She was almost to Nick's car, when she heard the echo of her neighborhood garbage truck coming through Sam's phone. She looked down the street only to make eye contact with a set of tired brown eyes sitting behind the wheel of a big sliver Ford. Still holding the phone to her ear, she glanced at Nick, and started walking towards the truck. '_Sam? What… what are you doing here_?' she asked still trying to understand what she was seeing. Making her way to his truck, she took in the sight of him…. Eyelids heavy, day old stubble. Closing her phone as he stepped out of the truck, she greeted him with concerned eyes '_Sam, what's going on? Did…did you sleep out here?! Are you ok_?' Not exactly sure exactly how to explain, he looked down before looking back at her with a small smirk and saying '_Yeah looks that way doesn't it_.' Before he lost his nerve he continued, '_Look, Andy, I needed to see you._' '_Uh yeah ok… I actually needed to speak with you too. I just didn't expect to find you sleeping outside my apartment_,' she answered with a small smile trying to ease the awkwardness. When he didn't offer further explanation, she continued '_Look I'm going to be late, but could you meet us down at headquarters? See… I called this morning because I was going to ask you a favor… I needed to see if you would work with me and Nick this week? He's going to go under for the Hill task force and I need… well… I want your help with his cover story. Listen, I know things have been strained with us, but that doesn't change the fact that you still know Hill like the back of your hand and the task force will be weaker without you_…' she rambled on nervously. '_So do you mind? Will you come_?' she finished. Surprised by her request and not wanting to make her any later than he had already, He just nodded. '_Uhh… yeah… ok. Uh just let me get cleaned up and I'll be down….. And Andy… Mind letting me give you a ride home after_? _Seems your pleading ramble has left me without time to speak…_' trying to tease her with a dimpled smirk. Her voice was tentative, but the slight upturn of her lips didn't go unnoticed as she nodded ok, taking a few steps backwards, before turning back to Nick. He watched her turn and climb into Collins' truck.

Shaking his head, he got in his own truck and drove to his house to shower before going down to headquarters. _Waking up outside her apartment was not what he had planned… helping Collins and Callahan with a task force had also not been on his 'To Do List', but no way was he going to refuse her request._

'_Everything ok_?' Nick asked as she climbed in the passenger seat. '_Uh yeah I guess so_…' she replied, still a little bewildered by the exchange. '_He's has to go home first but he said he'd meet us at HQ_.' Nick didn't press her for more. He knew he his admission at the Penny had been a jolt for Swarek, though he hadn't expected to find him holding vigil by Andy's apartment. '_This was going to be a very awkward week'_, he told himself.

Andy and Nick arrived at headquarters just after Luke and Blackstone. Andy confirmed that Sam was in and would be coming down to meet them. Luke, still none too thrilled, just nodded and muttered '_Anything for you, Andy'_ only slightly under his breath. When Sam arrived, the five of them did their best to put their personal feelings aside and get down to business… ignoring Luke's comment, '_Better late than never, Sammy_.' They briefed Sam on the task force and eventually the group began brainstorming a cover story and a way to get Nick into Hill's organization. Finally deciding to wrap it up for the evening, Luke dismissed them. Walking out to the parking lot Andy slowed to a halt, seeing Sam waiting at his truck. Slowing his pace with her, Nick put his hand on the back of her shoulder as if to prompt her forward. '_Go ahead_,' he said. '_Do what you need to do_. _I'll be there when you get home_.' Smiling gratefully at him, Andy nodded and walked on towards Sam. Andy didn't know how this car ride home would end up, but she felt like it was the least she could do after Sam's willingness to help. _Not to mention maybe she'd find out more about his strange new sleeping habits._

Seeing her stop as she walked out with Nick, Sam held his breath, only to release it has he closed the passenger door behind her. '_Ok Swarek, she's in your truck…. closer than she's been in a very long time_,' he reassured himself. Getting in and cranking the ignition, he pulled out in the direction of Andy's. The ride was silent at first, neither knowing exactly what to say. Feeling awkward, Andy finally said '_Sooo twice in a matter of months I've found you sleeping in your truck… you going to tell me what that's all about?' 'Oh you know, was just trying something new_,' he replied. Picking up on the double meaning implied, Andy asked '_Yeah? How's that been working for you_?' '_Not well_,' he threw back quickly. '_I'm sorry_,' she offered genuinely… actually feeling of bad for him. As far as she could tell, Sam had really cared for Marlo, so Andy figured the breakup had probably taken a toll on him too. Coming to a stoplight, Andy turned towards him and ever so slightly rested her hand on his arm – snapping him to attention. '_Seriously, Sam… What's going on? Why were you parked outside my building this morning? Why are you driving me home?'_ He knew he needed to say something, but he also knew that there was no way he could have this conversation and drive at the same time. A few more blocks and her building came into view. He pulled over saying _'Uh yeah, you're right I want to talk… but uh you think I can come up_?' When he told her he wanted to give her a ride home, she hadn't thought about the possibility of his wanting to come up to her apartment. How would she explain Nick practically living there with her for the last week before his UC? '_Well actually, maybe we should find someplace else… Nick's at my place. We sort of decided to stay together for this last week_…' she explained as she fumbled for the right words. '_Oh uh, yeah sure... course_… _I shouldn't have assumed_,' Sam said – trying really hard not to think about the message Andy had left for him the night he went under '_I'm tired of saving the good candy…We have three weeks… let's make them count… I'm coming over_.' He did NOT want to think about Andy eating candy with Collins!

Not knowing where else to go, they just sat quietly in the truck. Finally, Sam spoke up. '_Listen Andy, I've been trying to find you all weekend. I came over on Friday, but you were just getting home with Collins_.' Sam cleared his throat before continuing, suddenly finding it dry as he recalled images of Andy and Nick in a lip-lock. Watching his expression shift, Andy knew Sam had seen them kissing goodnight…. She cringed a little at the thought. '_I ran into Collins at the Penny that night… he probably told you most of the story… needless to say probably not one of my finer moments. He told me then about his going under, and I needed to see you. I came back three times on Saturday and again on Sunday but at first you weren't home and then Collins was there so I waited_.' '_Ok_…' she said in response, waiting for him to go on. When he paused again, she encouraged him to continue. '_Sam, you said you needed to see me... and I'm here now. So, please, tell me what you need… Why did you need to see me_?' Taking a breath and pinching the bridge of his nose, he began again. '_Last week when I saw you and Collins in the office with Frank, Callahan and Blackstone, I guess I jumped the gun and thought you might be going under again. I know I have no say so in what you do or where you go, but the thought of you leaving again… Well I didn't want to think about that being a possibility. So when I pulled you in the interview room and you told me you weren't going under, I was relieved. But then you never showed up to work or the Penny for the rest of the week and part of me wondered if maybe you really had left. Frank told me you were at headquarters, but I just needed to see for myself._' Deciding to up the ante, he went on. '_You see, I once had this rookie that kept hounding me about being such a control freak_,' giving Andy a small smile before sharing more. '_And fact is… She was right…. I worried about her all the time. I had to be with her all the time… Be in control… Be able to protect her. Then one day I realized that this was impossible…. And I didn't handle that revelation well. I thought if I wasn't around her I wouldn't worry as much, but then she left and I didn't even know where she was or when she was coming back and I didn't cope. Andy, I didn't want… I don't want to go through that again, but it's not my place to hold you back. When Collins told me about the task force, I knew you wouldn't be able to go with him. I knew you had gotten burned with me while we were trying to help Emily. I guess I'm worried you'd be upset or disappointed that you can't go with him… upset that our past got in the way of your future. Andy, I'm sorry if I messed this up for you._'

Andy sat astonished, trying to compute all that he had shared and trying to formulate a response. '_Wow… that's a lot to take in. Thank you for telling me all this… I'm sure it probably wasn't the easiest, and I'm so sorry that my going under during Dakota hurt you. I mean I knew when I left, you and I were in a very rocky place; and honestly, I tried not to think about what my leaving might have meant to you. But when I got back and you were with Marlo, I figured you managed pretty well without me. As for going under again for this task force, no I hadn't wanted to go. I mean, I would have - if the circumstances had been different. I would have gone with Nick solely because he's my partner and we've been a good team, but I wouldn't have really wanted to. Things may not have been what I expected when I got back, but with time I've realized that I'm still glad to be home. _Laying her hand on his forearm, she went on '_Thank you again for helping us this week. Getting your help was the best way I knew to have my partner's back.' _With a small squeeze to his arm, she turned to exit the truck.

'_Andy_…' He said, reaching out to grab her hand before she could get away. '_One more thing I needed to know… Uh, is it true… do you still love me?_' She was flabbergasted, her jaw dropping to the ground and her heart to her stomach…. _Had he really just asked her that? _Shaking herself back to reality, she gathered her words. '_Sam, you are part of my history – a part of who I am - and though our circumstances have changed, I will always care about you… I think it would be impossible for me not to.'_ Accepting her answer, he released her hand and let her go. _She hadn't said love, but she did say she cared. Maybe he could build on that._

She watched as he drove off, sitting on a bench outside her building trying to sort through what just happened. If the truth be known, of course she loved him… never stopped… part of her afraid that she always would. - But these days she didn't trust her love… didn't trust that she could be brave enough to feel it again.

The team all returned to headquarters the next day. Neither Sam nor Andy mentioned anything else about their heart to heart. Sam had always been proud of the cop that Andy had become; but watching her work and listening to her suggestions, he realized that she had become even better. She was still courageous, but now she was also calculating. Planning an UC op was very different from working one. Working UC, you had to be good at shooting from the cuff and thinking on your feet. Planning an op was more like a chess game. You have to think ahead. You have to plan for every possible move your target might make – a calculating strategy was a must. Seeing her in this setting, he realized Andy McNally was good at both. They focused their attentions down to some of the finer details of the op and began ironing out some of the possible kinks. Wrapping up, they headed in separate directions for the night. Andy and Nick were back to going for their routine round at the Penny. And Sam was back to his usual drink with Oliver, having to try even harder now not to stare at Andy.

Wednesday came and they returned to the drawing board. As the week wore on and Friday loomed ahead of them, Andy was feeling more and more uneasy. She finally admitted to herself what was bothering her - she didn't like Jacob Blackstone. She hadn't forgotten the stunt he pulled during Dakota… barging in with a sawed off shotgun. She realized he was too cavalier. He was dangerous. Trusting her gut, she blurted out '_This isn't going to work! Jacob, you aren't going to work! I think Sam should be Nick's handler.' _She stood up, not backing down despite the four sets of eyes that were all staring at her like she had three heads._ 'Look, I know being under you have to be flexible and role with the punches, but running a UC you have to be thoughtful… be able to predict… know your target's moves. Nobody knows Hill's moves like Sam. If things go sideways Sam can predict what Hill will do next. He has to be the one. Sam, you have to be the handler_.' This time it was Sam's turn to be flabbergasted. Looking at her the same way he did when she first asked to borrow his truck, he was sure he hadn't heard her right…. '_You asked me to come down here for the week and help, and now you want me to be the handler? Andy, I have a full caseload… I'm not a Guns and Gangs detective… I can't take this on_.' '_Can't or won't Sam?' _she challenged._ 'Come on, you know you are the best guy to handle this op! You know how this works; being the handler doesn't have to be fulltime... Let someone else man the wire room… You can be contacted as needed… You'll meet Nick on occasion_.' She wasn't going to back down.

The others sat back, still shocked by Andy's outburst. Luke scoffed and shook his head… 'Unbelievable!' He spat. Jacob, leaned back in his chair with an arrogant smirk… watching the entertainment. But Nick, Nick focused on his partner. He listened to her words and recognized her sincerity. _No way in hell would this be easy or comfortable, but she really believed this would be the best way and he was going to trust her._ Sitting up straighter, he spoke. '_She's right. She's my partner and she's trying to have my back. So I guess if I'm still going to do this, Swarek's going to be the handler.'_ Now it was Nick who was being ogled at. Luke sat dumbstruck. Jacob just huffed out a laugh and walked out saying, '_No sweat of my back... I'm gone_.' As for Sam, he just sat there. _He thought he'd probably do anything for Andy, but this… working long-term with Callahan AND Collins…. This takes the cake!_ Closing his eyes he ran a hand down over his face. '_Andy_…' he started, but it was Luke's voice that cut him off. '_Forget it Swarek… Blackstone's gone and you're the only choice we have. Looks like you're in whether we like it or not_.' With that, Luke got up and walked out. Saying as he went, '_I'll go call Frank_.'

So that was that. Sam was going to be Nick's handler. _Sam Swarek was going to be the only tie between Nick and real life… the only tie between Nick Collins and Andy_. The three sat there wordlessly, for what seemed like forever, before Luke came back and waved them off saying, '_Seeing as this day is shot to hell... go home… get your heads straight and we'll start over tomorrow_.' Walking out, Andy stopped them. '_Listen, I know I overstepped my bounds today_,' she acknowledged as she looked between Nick and Sam. '_I know I pulled the rug out from under everyone in there…. But I was following my gut – the way I was taught_,' she said looking up at Sam. '_I'm sorry if I've made things worse for either of you.'_

Sam listened as she tried to explain herself; but he needed some space to sort the barrage of thoughts that were coursing through his brain…. And he suspected Collins did too. They parted ways no one having anything else to say other than some version of '_Yeah, sure…. See you in the morning_.' Andy and Nick drove back to her place. He went out for a run. Andy stayed behind and tried to lose herself in a hot bath and Sam was at his place pacing the floor.

Thursday came and went. This time, _it really_ _was what it was,_ and all any of them could do was be professional and get it done. The cover story was in place…. Foolproof, just as Andy suspected. Nick had an entry into the Hills business and Luke, Sam and Frank had sorted out Sam's workload and responsibilities. They were ready. This op would bring down Anton Hill. Having nothing else to do but wait, they shook hands and agreed to meet back at the barn Friday night set Nick on his way.


	11. A Penny's Worth of Redemption

**So in effort to update as quickly as possible, these chapters will be shorter... but like I've said, I know where I'm headed... and will get there eventually. Hope you all continue to enjoy along the way. However, for those of you who still feel the need to read on despite obviously hating everything so far... I think that really says more about you than it does about the story. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. I'm pleased with the story thus far. I wrote it for myself and I'm not worried that my imagination threatens your RB fantasy world.**

Friday evening, just as the sun set, Sam sat behind the wheel of a sliver sedan with dark tinted windows. Luke was leaning over the driver's side window, trying to give Sam directions – totally oblivious to anything else happening around them. Sam on the other hand, couldn't help but watch out the rearview mirror as Andy and Nick said their goodbyes. Nick threw his Army issued rucksack in the trunk and turned to Andy. Andy stood, leaning back on her heels with her hands shoved in her back pockets. 'I'm going to miss you, Andy... And I expect to get my partner back as soon as I get home, so make sure Shaw doesn't get too comfortable,' Nick said trying to ease the heavy feeling surrounding them. Looking up at him with a small smile, Andy pulled him into a tight hug saying, 'I'm going to miss you too, Partner – So much. Be careful right?!' 'Of course,' he spoke into her hair as he squeezed her tight. 'Now go be happy, Andy. I'll see you soon,' Nick called out as he opened the passenger door and rode off.

Andy watched as Sam and Nick drove off. Not looking forward to going back to an empty apartment, she walked the few blocks to the Penny. Dov and Chloe were cuddled and giggling in a corner booth. Traci was home with Leo, and only Oliver was sitting at the bar. She pulled up a stool beside him and ordered a beer. '_So McNally, get your partner on the road_,' he asked. '_Yep_,' she said, popping the P. '_He'll do good work McNally, and come steal you away from me in no time_,' he offered as he patted a hand to her back. '_Thanks Oliver_,' she replied. They sat quietly each nursing their own drinks, Oliver providing a supportive presence. He had grown to consider Andy like a kid-sister and he wanted to see her happy… wanted her to know he'd also have her back. After a while the Penny door opened and Oliver stood to go, explaining he needed to head out as Celery was expecting him for a late dinner. '_See you Monday, Andy_,' he said as he moved to let the newest patron move to take his stool. '_Sammy_…' he acknowledged walking out. Hearing his name, Andy swung her head around to see Sam now occupying Oliver's place beside her.

'_Hey_,' she greeted. '_Hey_,' he returned. '_So he's in… Got him to the apartment… He's good to go_,' Sam explained. '_Good…. Uh Great… Thank you… Thank you again so much_,' She said making eye contact with him. '_Sure… I'm there when it matters right,' _he replied cheekily. '_Ha. Yeah… most of the time you are_,' she smiled at him. '_So you're going to miss him uh_?' He asked, already knowing the answer. '_Umm… yeah… yeah I am. I mean we lived together for 6 months and then we got home and so much had changed…. So yeah… We've been close. It's going to be different without him_,' she shared looking down at her beer bottle. '_Well then, Here's to Collins_…' he said clinking his glass to her bottle… '_To his coming back safe and with Anton Hill in handcuffs_.' Smiling over to him she replied, _'I'll drink to that_,' as she finished her beer. '_Andy, it's been a long week. Do me a favor… and let give you a lift home_?' He asked. '_Umm sure. Thanks_,' she accepted.

Sam knew he had a long way to go, but walking out of the Penny with Andy, he suddenly felt a small wave of redemption…. As if a wrong from nearly a year ago, was being made right again.


	12. Apple Flips and Fairies

Sam dropped Andy off Friday night without fanfare. He promised himself that he wasn't going to push her. He would take advantage of small moments, and hope they would be enough to regain her trust and maybe eventually her love. Driving home he flipped on the radio, his presets still the ones Andy had programmed. A smile graced his features as a Fray song beat through the speakers. _Maybe the Universe had a plan for them after all…._

If there is one thing, that's true  
It's not what I say, it's what I do…  
So just listen to what I do  
A thousand years go by  
But love don't die

You can box it in  
Bury it in the ground  
You can close it off  
And turn it away  
Try to keep it down,  
Six feet in the ground  
But love don't die

Andy took the rest of the weekend for herself. She spent her Saturday venturing through the city, enjoying some of her favorite places. She got a cup of coffee from Ella's Uncle, and walked through Trinity-Bellwoods Park. She met her Dad for a late lunch after his noon meeting and stumbled on a Crossfit gym whose name caught her attention. She stepped inside for a tour and thirty minutes later had a membership. With the cooler weather coming and her running partner currently preoccupied, the gym seemed to be a great option. She was looking forward to the workouts and the camaraderie.

On Sunday she gathered her iPod and went to the gym for the introduction and fundamentals course. She loved the place even more after her first workout. Most of the folks were friendly and social, though still very focused. She watched as they encouraged and challenged one another, her confidence surging as she pushed herself through each exercise. Her playlist shuffled through, and the lyrics of a Pink song played out.

Where there is desire  
There is gonna be a flame  
Where there is a flame  
Someone's bound to get burned  
But just because it burns  
Doesn't mean you're gonna die  
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Getting back to her apartment, she was feeling energized and refreshed. The lyrics looped again and again through her mind. - _ Just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die… You've gotta get up and try. _- '_Maybe this time, time and space wouldn't be such a bad thing?' _she thought. She reminded herself that although her love life was somewhere between a tangled mess and totally non-existent, the rest of her life was actually really good. - Her best friend was healing and beginning to be happy again. Her dad was more than a year sober. - Maybe this time, she would learn to stand on her own two feet, not because she was too afraid to stand with someone, but because she knew her own feet could hold her up. Maybe this time she would learn to enjoy her mornings alone… she would start new hobbies… maybe get back to her 5 year plans. _Maybe this time SHE would become the bonafide savant_.

She fell asleep Sunday night emboldened, and woke up Monday feeling that same giddy excitement she did on her second day of work… laughing to herself as she remembered running down a purse snatcher before she even put on her uniform. She knew she had been born to be a cop; and she had made a decision to stay a cop after she cut her own tie as a rookie. She reminded herself that she had grown. She had learned to trust her gut. She had completed 6 months of undercover. She decided she would focus on her job and hope that some of her professional confidence would eventually boost her personal assurance.

At the barn she changed into her uniform and made it to Parade on time. As predicted, she was partnered with Oliver, but surprisingly he rushed her out of the sally port before she could grab a cup of coffee. Swinging open the passenger door of the cruiser, her eyes landed on two cups from Ardie's and small brown box of apple flips. '_Oliver, are you trying to bribe me with coffee and confections just so I don't jinx us again_?' She asked him with a grin. She figured he brought them thinking she would need cheering up on her first shift without Nick, and she was actually really touched. '_Nope not me McNally. An elf must have dropped them off… A dark-haired, brooding, detective kind of elf,' _he explained taking a sideways glance to assess her reaction. Her doe eyes in full force, she blushed slightly, replying with only a faint '_Oh.'_

When her pulse returned to a normal beat, she pulled her phone out sending a text that read '_So according to Shaw an elf left coffee and flips in our cruiser this morning…. Wish I could thank said elf…. It was a really thoughtful thing for an elf to do.'_ A few minutes later her phone buzzed showing one new message. Opening it up, she read '_An elf?! Really McNally?'_ She could picture his sarcastic smirk as she typed out her reply. '_No elf eh? Well maybe it was a fairy…. Either way, it was really nice_.'

But just because it burns  
Doesn't mean you're gonna die  
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Reading her reply, Sam Swarek actually chuckled… like out loud. If he kept this up, no doubt his reputation would be ruined, but if it meant getting their familiar banter back, it would be completely worth it.

No matter where we go  
Or even if we don't...  
They'll never take my body from your side  
Love don't die


	13. Her Lion's Heart

Chapter 13: Her Lion's Heart

Growing up, her time had always been spent between school work, housekeeping and bringing her dad home from the bar. She had lots of time to herself, but the time was always worrisome and lonely. She took up playing basketball and dating 'bad boys' - anything to rid herself of the loneliness. Eventually, she learned to want people, but to never need them.

Becoming a cop though, changed Andy… She learned when to call for backup…. Learned how to have a partner… Learned how to trust. Being a part of 15, she learned that she could need someone and they would actually come through for her. For the first time in her life she didn't feel lonely, she had her rookie family and she had Sam.

Sam – Ironically, it would be 15's finest lone wolf that would teach Andy the most about trust and reliability… about need and provision. She learned she had a need that she never even knew existed, and no one had ever come close to fulfilling until Sam Swarek. Dov gave her laughter, but he couldn't fill her heart with joy. Chris was a good protector, but he wasn't her refuge. Traci was her best friend, but she wasn't her heart's desire. Even when she was with Luke, Sam was always there when she needed him. It was this mysterious need that terrified Andy… terrified that if she let Sam fill that need, her protective shell would be left with a Sam-shaped hole and she would be forever vulnerable.

For two years they battled their unique blend of need/provision… push/pull. Finally, she let herself give into the mystery and let Sam provide. She let herself believe that maybe the other shoe wouldn't actually drop… the rug wouldn't actually be pulled out from under her. Gradually, she convinced herself that they were _it_, they were _meant to be_. She stopped looking for warning signs, flashing red lights, and caution flags.

But then the universe pulled the rug out from under all of them when a cruel twist of fate took Jerry, and the infamous other shoe dropped in the middle of the rain-soaked Penny parking lot. Suddenly riddled with a sorrowful mix of grief, guilt and disbelief, Sam didn't have the resolve to put up the fight he promised. Suddenly Andy's worse fear was confirmed, and her lion's heart was left with a Sam Swarek shaped hole.

She spent the next two months trying disparately to keep up a façade of brawn and indifference - Trying to get through the day with her chin up and her eyes always diverted from _him._ Denial was her new joy… Avoidance her new refuge… Escape her new desire.

Then fate came back around dropping its proverbial bomb/grenade, shattering Andy's façade and Sam's inhibitions. And, as if to make up for all the crazy shit fate had toss her way, the universe offered Andy the chance to reclaim her heart's desire…. giving her 5 minutes to choose which one it would be.

_Five minutes… God, and I thought I felt pressure when I was holding the bomb! He said he loves me!? He's at the Penny waiting for me!? _ _He wants to make it right!? But what if I give up this chance and he walks away again and I'm THAT girl?! Ok Andy… you can do this. Pull the trigger. Make the choice. He said he wouldn't leave me alone. He said he'd show me every day. Maybe he'll understand. Maybe he'll know I need to do this, and maybe he'll let us start over when I get back. Ok McNally, trust your gut… Dakota… Dakota is the sure bet. If he meant what he said, he'll be here when you get back._

So she played fate's episode of _Let's Make a Deal_, and thirty minutes later she was sitting, with her fingers crossed, in the passenger seat of Luke's sedan. She had her tattered façade of fearlessness held tight and her old familiar worry and loneliness packed in the trunk, with her break-up buddy in the backseat.

Six months later, she's in desperate need. She's in need of survival. She has to trust her gut and her gut dials a number as if by muscle memory. And just like the old days, she needs and he provides. She called and he came. For the first time since her Sam-shaped hole, she breathed a sigh of relief. Until of course, she saw him kissing Marlo at the coffee stand.

Hello loneliness. Meet Nick. He's your loyal break-up buddy, your comfortable roommate, your UC partner. He's the only thing familiar that you have left. He won't hurt you because he needs you as much as you need him. He's your equal.

Andy's relationship with Nick grew at a snail's pace. It was never intense, but it was stable. They didn't have the chemistry but they had attraction. Besides, Andy wasn't looking for those kinds of sparks anymore… those sparks burn and burns hurt. They also had 6 months of living together, alone in their own world, that provided them with unique sense of unity. Andy was just beginning to wonder if her Sam shaped hole would eventually grow in around the edges of a Nick shaped cork, when fate reared it's ugly head.

Now here she is, 6 weeks since Nick left, and she finding her own routine…. determined to stand on her own two feet, eye to eye with her unwelcome loneliness and worry. She's going to the gym 3 nights a week and on each of her days off. Just like she promised herself, she's taking time alone. Learning to enjoy doing things by herself, really allowing herself to think – not overthink but think clearly. She's pretty convinced Nick would be proud.

Things at work have been good. Ridding with Oliver is great. He has his own brand of endearing qualities…. Perfectly Oliver. They make a good team, her eagerness and his experience. They've established a tradition of eating with Sam and Traci at least 3 shifts a week, and she's noticed that she and Sam seem to have found their banter again – free of the sarcasm and insecurities. She hasn't found him sleeping outside her apartment again, but he's been present…. in her life… and it's been refreshing. Her Sam-shaped hole hasn't felt so gaping.


	14. Going Through This with You

Its 8 weeks into the UC op before Nick is safe to meet Sam in person. He's had to work hard to gain trust, spending the first month being watched 24/7 and the second month being measured and assessed from every angle. Now he's working in the loading docks, hoping to work his way up to a driver. Driving the trucks would allow him access to all the distribution locations and give him opportunity to build rapport and trust with each distributor. Nevertheless, He's feeling confident. He feels he's starting to gain momentum.

Back at 15 it's been a heavy week for Sam. He's silently keeping track of the date in his mind as if the silence will delay the inevitable - Saturday marking the 1 year anniversary of Jerry's death. And just when he acquiesced to the weight of Jerry's anniversary, he gets a text from Nick Collins requesting a meet. Sam feels a strange mix of relief and anxiety. Other than a few text messages, Collins has been a ghost since he left 2 months ago. Obviously he's eager to hear about the operation, but there's another part of him that's still not too keen on making small talk with Collins. He knows Nick is going to ask about Andy. He knows he should understand, but admits that he doesn't like sharing… especially doesn't like sharing Andy. He knows Andy isn't really _his_ to share anyway, but hearing from Collins is a cold reminder that Nick and Andy are close… too close for Sam's comfort.

Things with Andy had been good… very good even. His favorite meals of the week are the ones he eats with her. He's noticed she's less hesitant with him now. He gets to see more of her smiles and hear more of her laughter. She's not as rigid with him, her softness and ease coming back slowly. He loves listening to her talk about her free time and her new adventures. Apparently she's bought into the Crossfit phenomena and joined a gym called Academy of Lions. _Very fitting he thinks_. Secretly, he's jealous that she's doing all these things by herself, but he can see her confidence and pride glowing and he's definitely very happy about that.

She and Shaw are quiet a pair. Sam smiles remembering Andy's blush and laughter as she and Oliver confessed their recent blunder. They were called to an abandoned warehouse for a noise disturbance, and were clearing the building when they heard the strange noise. Maybe it was the memory of the last time they searched an abandoned building together that made them both a little jumpy, but they decided to call for backup. Backup arrived only to find Andy and Shaw with guns drawn and pointed at a closet of mannequins. She and Oliver were headed back to the cruiser after lunch when Sam strode casually passed Andy saying '_Don't worry McNally. All cops love mannequins_.' Her look of slight confusion was replaced with a toothy grin, as he tossed the words back over his shoulder, as if the answer was obvious… '_They're model citizens_!' If he were the type to go weak at the knees, he's pretty sure he would fall all over himself every time she laughed at his jokes.

Sam was pulled from his daydream by a flash brunette hair striding past him down the hall. Glancing back at him, she tosses the words to him almost like a dare, '_Sam. Lunch. Nguyen Huong. 13:30_.' He didn't miss the twinkle in her eye when she smiled back at him. Snapping to attention he moved to catch up with her. '_Uh, yeah, sure… Actually, I'm glad I caught you. Figured you'd want to know, I heard from Collins. I have a meet with him on Thursday night_.' He notices she's got the big bambi eyes now, and just like that the awkwardness is back. '_Sam… that's great. Thanks…. Thanks for telling me. Uh… Do you think… I mean would you mind... Uh… Could you give him something for me?_' His gut flips a bit when he thinks about delivering an Andy-made care package to Collins, but he's rarely told her no before… probably not going to start now. He's already missing their new-found comfort level and wants to get back to their banter as quickly as possible…. Smiling down at her with a mischievous glint in his eye, he agrees saying '_Yeah sure McNally, but I charge double for hugs or kisses….. one for him and one for ME!' _This time it's his heart that flips as he watches her face, neck and even her ears blush a beautiful ferocious red. He backs away from her with a smirk, enjoying every second of her wide-eyed speechlessness. '_Lunch. Nguyen Huong. 13:30.' _He throws her words back at her as he turns back to his office.

He and Traci drive over to meet Oliver and Andy. Neither Sam nor Traci have mentioned the upcoming anniversary, but they both know it's hovering just below the surface. Sam's been watching Traci, still in awe of her strength and resiliency. He wants to ask how she does it…. How she picked herself up… How she trusts fate enough to let herself love again? Instead, he says '_Come on Partner, let me buy you lunch_.'

Andy's mostly recovered from her conversation with Sam, but as soon as he walks in the dinner, she can't help but feel a slight blush all over again. They sit down at the table and make small talk – Oliver's making food puns and cracking himself up. Eventually, Andy slides two dvds and a small bulletin over to Sam. It's two M. Hulot movies, (the French equivalent of Mr. Bean.) and advertisement for a local Habitat for Humanity and Wounded Warrior project – remodeling a home for a local veteran. She shared about Nick's tradition of remembering his fallen army buddy; and explained _'I knew he'd been under this year and figured his getting FUBAR undercover wouldn't be the best idea. Soooo, I need you to let him know that I'll be his proxy – I'll remember his buddy this year by volunteering with this project.' _

And there it was… her lion's heart. He was so enamored he couldn't even begrudge the fact that she was doing this for Nick. She watched for his reaction but he sat mute for a moment opening and closing his mouth like a guppy. He just sat staring at her... suddenly remembering her tear-stained face telling him, 'I know you're hurting… I know we all grieve in our own ways… But I want to go through this with you.' He wondered what it would have been like if he had let her.

Finally, covering for his mute friend, Oliver answers '_Wow, McNally… That's a great idea. I'm sure Sammy will tell Collins and keep an eye on him. Meanwhile, I think maybe it's time we make our own tradition_…' Oliver looks to Traci for permission to continue. He watches Traci reach for Andy's hand. _'I know we haven't talked about IT yet, but we all know this weekend is going to be a tough one… and I don't know about you, but I'd like to have my family with me. Whatta say, maybe Saturday night you all come over for dinner?_' Still looking at Sam for his response, Andy's heart stilled as he locked eyes with her giving only a nod of affirmative. She never has been able to read Sam's mind, but in that silent moment, she knew they had made a connection… one that was genuine and deep. He was going to let her _go through this_ anniversary _with him_.


	15. Moving On and Coming Home

Thursday came and Sam prepared to meet Collins. Sam instructed Nick to meet him in a small diner in Cabbagetown. Sam arrived at the meet early, with Andy's care package tucked under his arm. Nick arrived shortly after, and took the seat across from Sam. They managed to keep the conversation professional and focused on the task force. Nick confirmed he was working his way up, starting out in the loading dock. He explained that the drugs were smuggled inside dry food containers to the distribution points via Hills wholesale food distribution front. They talked strategy and discussed people inside the organization who had potential to flip to informant. Having dissected all that was known about the op so far, eventually Nick and Sam found themselves at a standstill.

They sat quietly before Nick finally broke the stiff silence asking '_Uh… So Andy_?' Sam glanced up from his coffee cup acknowledging Nick's curiosity. '_Uh… Yeah… She's good. Uh, she sent you something_,' Sam explained as he pushed the bundle of DVDs and the bulletin across the table. Nick smiled instantly as he took note of the DVDs. Turning over the advertisement for the Habitat and Wounded Warrior project, he looked to Sam for meaning. Sam confessed that Andy had told him about Nick's fallen comrade, and his tradition of remembering him. He explained that Andy didn't want Nick to put himself in danger by getting drunk and hungover while undercover, so she decided she would be his proxy and remember his comrade by volunteering at this project.

Huffing out a faint laugh Nick acknowledged '_Man, she's really something isn't she?_' '_Yeah, Yeah she is_,' was all Sam could offer in return. '_Look, I know it's none of my business, but uh… have you talked to her_?' Nick asked, already knowing the answer. '_Uh yeah, we talk… more than we used to at least. She's good. Riding with Shaw. Pulled a gun on a closet of mannequins_,' he admitted with a smirk. Nick chuckled, imagining Andy and Oliver holding mannequins at gunpoint. '_Swarek, what I said at the Penny that night… It's true. She and I are close and no doubt I'm crazy about her, but I'm no fool. I knew she wasn't over you. I hoped that in time I could help her get there, but I'm here instead. She still loves you and she is going to have a hell of a time trying to love anyone else – believe me. So you might as well go make it right with her and put yourself out of misery_.' '_God this guy is noble_,' Sam almost scoffed to himself, feeling a bit ashamed for all the time he's spent begrudging the guy. Meeting Nick's eye Sam confided, '_You're right Collins. I screwed it up. I screwed it up over and over and over again. I want her to be happy… more than anything in the world… more than anything I could ever want for myself_.' '_And she was… with you_,' Nick interrupted.

The rest of the week went passed by for Andy and Traci. Traci asked to go to the cemetery before dinner at Oliver's, and Andy agreed to go with, though unbeknownst to her, Traci offered Sam to come along as well. Steve drove them to the cemetery, but had agreed to wait in the car. He understood that Traci needed this time alone with Jerry. Traci and Andy made their way toward the entrance, with Leo holding hands between them. Andy's breath hitched seeing Sam waiting for them at the gate. Traci greeted her partner with a sideways hug, words still yet to be said between the group. Just as they moved to keep walking, Sam reached ever so slightly for Andy, taking her arm by the elbow. She lifted her gaze to meet his eyes, and slowly took his hand in hers. The four continued their silent pilgrimage to Jerry's grave. Andy stood with Leo as Traci and Sam both had private moments at the gravesite. Traci stood like a pillar of strength, reaffirming her first love and asking for Jerry's permission to love again… permission to let Steve Peck in. She knelt quietly and placed a kiss to the cold granite. She returned to Andy and Leo, both of them wrapping her in a hug, and while she let Sam take her place.

He hadn't been back since the funeral… hadn't allowed himself to give voice to the regret and loss he felt. Now, standing with his back to Andy, he laid a hand to the stone, his voice was silent but his thoughts flowed freely as he vented his pain… apologizing for sorry hand fate dealt them, apologizing that he hadn't been there to save him, apologizing because he wished to God they could have been given more 'good times.' But in the midst of his grief, he remembered Jerry's words in his wedding speech…. Remembered Jerry's faith in him… Remembered that Jerry never shied away from letting people know that they were important to him…. So in that moment, Sam vowed that he was going to stop keeping the people he loved at arm's length. Sam promised that he was going to live in such a way that would make Jerry happy, and his gut told him that this would make him happy as well. He returned to Andy's side, taking her hand in his. The four walked together to the gravestone, letting Leo give Jerry the card that he made for him… telling him that he missed him too.

Walking back to the gate, Sam pulled Andy aside and finally spoke, '_Uh I was wondering if you'd ride to Oliver's with me… I could use the company_.' She looked to Traci for permission, and then agreed with a quiet, '_Sure. Of course_.' They stood for a moment, eyes locked on one another, as if both making sure this is what the other really wanted. Squeezing her hand in his, they walked to his truck and drove towards Oliver's. The drive remained quiet and reverent.

Once everyone arrived at his house, Oliver turned the reverent mood into one of laughter and remembrance. The time together seemed to represent an opportunity to remember Jerry, accept Steve and Celery into the inner circle, and perhaps heal Sam and Andy. Traci shared a sideshow DVD that she made, the makeshift family laughing at some of the early pictures of Oliver, Sam and Jerry. Oliver told stories about the Academy days, and before long even Sam was regaling the group with stories of Jerry's infamous poker bets and losses. Traci laughed remembering the first time she saw Jerry without his goatee; and confessed that she owed a thank you to Sam for winning that hand, as she always preferred Jerry clean-shaven. By the end of the night all of their hearts felt a little lighter, and they committed to making this their annual tradition. They said their goodbyes with smiles and hugs, and each made their way home.

Sam led Andy to his truck, his hand at the small of her back. There are so many things he wants to tell her…. Wants so badly to hold her close and never let her go, but he admits to himself that he's emotionally exhausted, and knows he doesn't have the energy tonight to clear the air between them. He also admits that he doesn't want the first time being back with her to be out of his own need for comfort, but rather out of their mutual desire to be together. So with his mind made up and his self-control barely in tack, he drove her home and walked her to do the door. She's standing in front of him now, her big doe eyes looking up at him. He places a hand on each of her arms and pulls to himself. Wrapping his arms around her, he feels the weight of the world finally lift... it feels like he's coming home. He presses his face to her hair and inhales her scent. Placing a kiss to her hair, he finally voices what he's known all along, '_I've missed you so much Andy. Every single day, I've missed you. Thank you. Thank you for today._' Hearing those words, Andy finally melts into his embrace letting herself wrap her arms around his waist and laying her head against his chest. They stand engrossed in one another until he finally pulls away. Planting another kiss to her hair, he whispers '_Goodnight McNally_.'


	16. Making Dinner and Taking Out The Trash

It had been two weeks since the group had dinner at Oliver's… two weeks since Sam and Andy came to a silent understanding that something was stirring between them. The lunch routine with Oliver and Traci continued, though now they added drinks at the Penny with their friends, and the occasional ride home. One Wednesday, Sam even tried Crossfit with Andy. To his surprise, he actually enjoyed himself - despite all the gym rats who eyed her like she was a fit piece of cheese…. _But admittedly, Andy McNally in singlets and yoga pants was a sight for sore eyes._

The weekend after Jerry's memorial, Sam had already promised to help Ollie with some repairs at the cabin. He was secretly kicking himself for making plans, now wanting a weekend alone with Andy more than anything, but no way was he going to back out on Oliver. The guys headed up to the cabin, and Andy had a girl's weekend with Traci and Celery - complete with wine, chick-flics and shopping at a few of Celery's favorite vintage shops. It had been fun to get to know Celery, and Andy was taken with Celery's quiet confidence and ease.

When Sam and Oliver got home from the cabin, it was already early evening on Sunday. Not exactly a master craftsman, Oliver had completely overestimated the amount of work needing to be done, and thus he and Sam found themselves hungry and exhausted when they got back. Sam drove himself home, only to find a note taped to the door. The note instructed him to call the numbers for Always Dial A Bottle and Pizza Gigi; and explained that his favorite Sicilian pizza and beer had already been paid for and were waiting to be delivered. He instantly recognized the handwriting, and couldn't help but conjure images of Andy in an elf's costume.

They worked their way through another workweek, before Saturday rolled around and Andy fulfilled her promise to volunteer at the Wounded Warrior project. She had already put in an honest day's work, when a familiar unmarked cruiser pulled up to the project site. Sam couldn't contain his amusement as he soaked in the sight of Andy McNally in a tool belt and carrying a 2x4. Coming towards her with a dimpled grin he greeted her teasingly, '_Nice accessories, McNally_.' '_Yeah, well_ _I'm learning to appreciate a good piece of wood_,' she quipped, only to blush a deep crimson when Sam's eyebrows hit his hairline. '_God, McNally don't you ever think before you speak_,' she silently chastised herself. '_Good to know McNally. I'll take note_,' he smirked back at her. Wanting desperately to move on from her blunder, she asked '_Soooo… what brings you here?' 'Well, I figured you'd be tired and hungry after today, so I hoped you'd let me make dinner. I was headed back to the barn now, and could be over at your place by 7 if you're willing,'_ he explained with a hopeful tone._ 'Sure. I'd really like that. Thank you!' _she agreed with a bright smile. He nodded again, and made his way back to the cruiser - still shaking his head and laughing to himself at her off-color remark.

At home, Andy showered and dressed. Although she was exhausted, Andy wanted to look nice for Sam… wanted him to know that his being there was special. She added a light coat of eye shadow, let her hair fall causally around her shoulders, and touched up the muted purple polish on her toes. She donned jeans, a white V-neck shirt (remembering how much Sam appreciated the slightly lower neckline) and her loose gray cardigan.

As promised, Sam was at her door precisely at 7, and she couldn't keep her stomach from turning flips at the sight of Sam Swarek at her door with a crock-pot and a six-pack of beer. '_God she's gorgeous'_, he admitted to himself as he looked her over - jeans, a neckline that left just enough to the imagination, and bare feet. '_Her bare feet,' _he nearly groaned to himself. He remembered having been surprised when he learned that, underneath those bulky police issued boots, McNally always had her toenails painted…. Remembered when he later learned that the polish often matched her underwear_. 'PURPLE… Shit! Ok Sammy boy… Keep in your pants!_' he reminded himself.

Lifting her eyebrows at him as he stood motionless at her door, she finally snapped him out of his daze. '_Sam Swarek with a crock pot… I'm pretty sure that's every woman's dream_,' she said smiling at him. '_I'm not interested in every woman, McNally_,' he replied back as walked passed her… Adding, '_Only interested in one_' just slightly under his breath.

Sam served up two bowls of white bean chicken chili and two beers and walked them over the living room. He and Andy sat facing one another and began to eat. It felt so good having him here with her. She remembered their nights spent in front of the TV with a beer and hockey game… his chili always her favorite after a cold day. She remembered those nights were usually quiet, neither of them seemingly having the energy to talk after talking all day in the cruiser. Tonight however there was a Pandora's Box looming where the comfortable silence used to be….

They both knew tonight was the night to hash it out, clear the air, purge the hurt between them, but for the first time, Andy didn't know where to start. She didn't want to push Sam, and she also didn't know how much or how little he would want to know from her. Eventually though, he cleared his throat and ushered them into the labyrinth and was McSwarek.

They talked about Dakota. Andy admitted that her decision to leave was made at the worst possible time. And although she acknowledged that no explanation could make up for the hurt that she caused when she left, she explained that she had been dazed after Sam's confession, and made a snap decision to choose what she had begged for just that morning - secretly knowing she wasn't in a frame of mind to make any kind of decisions that night. Once reality hit her however, she confessed that there were many nights UC that she thought of Sam… Many nights when she would have given anything to have a drink with him. But she also explained that she wouldn't have been able to survive Dakota if she had let her mind wonder wistfully, so she did what she had to do to get through – the same thing she did when she was with Luke – She crammed her feelings down and locked herself away in her character.

Although Sam didn't ask, Andy made sure that he understood that nothing happened between she and Nick during Dakota. Although they had become close and both genuinely cared for one another, she had only tried to move forward with him because she really believed that her chance with Sam had long passed. She revealed that she wanted to fight for Sam when she first got home, but eventually surrendered to the belief that he was actually really happy with Marlo. She wasn't going to be Jo… wasn't going to destroy what he had with Marlo if that was what made him happy. '_I knew I loved you, just as much as I ever did, as soon as I saw you on the other side of that metal door… I knew in that moment that you would always be the one_.'

Taking her hand, Sam pulled her close to him. '_Andy, my worst mistake was pushing you away… I know I had terrible timing… I know I deflected with a stupid joke during the most important moment of my life… It's haunted me ever since_.' Sam admitted that, even after she didn't show to the Penny, he had intended to fight to get her back… intended to _show her every day until she said yes_. But he gave up all those hopes the next day when she didn't show up to parade… having never felt defeat like he did in that moment. '_It ripped my gut out when you told me I broke your heart, but standing in parade and seeing your empty chair, in that moment you got me back_.'

Sam confided to Andy about Marlo… He admitted that he started out with her flippantly… her company feeling a hell of a lot better than the loneliness he felt without Andy. At first he thought being with Marlo was simple, neither of them expecting too much from the other, but eventually he realized that Marlo was actually invested despite her detached demeanor. When Andy went off the wire, all his old instincts kicked right back in… never feeling relief like he did when he saw her in the back of that delivery truck. '_Seeing you again that day I knew you were still it, but my pride got the best of me… my fear that we'd only get in over our heads got the best of me. So I tried to tell myself the same lie I told you outside the Penny. I lied and told myself that we were trouble even before we started. But I was wrong, Andy. I was so wrong, because from the moment I fell in love with you, being with you was the only thing that made sense for me… the only thing I've ever really wanted_.'

Having just laid their hearts bare to one another; they sat silently in their companionship. Relaxing into him, Andy whispered '_I'm so so sorry, Sam.'_ Laying her head against his shoulder, the sound of his heartbeat soothed her to sleep. Sam looked down at the woman sleeping against his chest, one hand covered between her face and his shoulder, while her other arm was draped across him. With a contented sigh, he allowed himself to run his fingers through her hair… reveling in the moment and basking in their proximity.

Not exactly the sky writing type, he hadn't been one for grand gestures. But having her in his arms again, he decided he was done taking baby steps… done waiting… _He was ready to take a leap_.

With a plan in mind, he scooped her up and carried her to her bed. Laying her down gently, he made eye contact with her sleepy bambi eyes. He cupped her face and touched his nose to hers, before placing a light kiss to the smallest corner of her mouth. '_I want to be with you Andy. I want to make this work with you… and tomorrow I'm going to prove it' _he whispered. '_Now get your rest, because I'm coming for you in the morning_,' he instructed as he turned to go.


	17. Ripcords

Andy slapped her hand blindly at her bedside table as her alarm clock blared at 8:00AM on Sunday morning. Yanking the cord from the outlet, Andy pulled the pillow over her head and attempted to block out the early morning sun, only to be kept from her slumber by the ringing of her telephone at 8:05AM. Flipping it open she was greeted, '_Good Morning McNally. I know you turned off your alarm. I know you're still in bed. Now get up and get dressed because like I said last night… I'm coming for you, Andy. I'll be there at 8:30_.' Click. Dial tone.

Willing herself awake, she dialed his number back. '_No getting out of this McNally_,' was how he answered the call. '_Sam, I don't want to get out of this, I just need to know what's going on_,' she croaked out, her voice still half asleep. '_Not happening, Andy. You're just gonna have to trust me_.' '_But Sam…' 'The only butt allowed, McNally, is yours in my truck by 9 o'clock_,' he interrupted… not so secretly loving her sleepy frustration. Rolling her eyes, but smiling despite herself, she tried to sound nonchalant '_Fine Sam… However, if my butt is to be in your truck by 9AM, then my butt needs to know what to wear_.'

Smirking, with his tongue protruding into his cheek, he couldn't help but remember how much he liked her butt with nothing on at all…. That memory only served to create another image of a naked Andy falling against a sky-blue background; and although that would be a sight, naked Andy would have to wait. Reluctantly pulling himself from his very adult imagination, he answers with 'Layers, McNally… Something you'd wear to the gym, but with layers.' Hanging up, he left her to overthink and get dressed.

Sam had been up since 6 making the proper arrangements… even calling Frank and asking for tomorrow off for he and Andy. If everything goes as planned, there will be no way they'd be making it into work tomorrow…. IF everything goes as planned, he'd probably regret telling her to wear layers.

Not being able to wait any longer, he climbed in his truck and drove towards Andy's, making a pit stop at her favorite coffee shop for coffee and two cranberry bran muffins on the way. Coming to her door, he knocked and waited, knowing she was still running around trying to get ready. Swinging up the door for him, his dimples were in full force as he watched her scatter through the apartment, trying to tie up her hair and cram her feet into running shoes at the same time. He smiled looking over her outfit… a gray long-sleeve compression shirt and black compression pants with a teal hoodie.

'Good Morning to you too, McNally? Ready for your surprise?' He greeted her with a tease. '_Saaaam_,' she huffed, he thinks she almost even stomped her foot, '_You know I hate surprises. Come on just tell me what we're doing_.' '_Nope. Not this time. The only thing I'm going to tell you is to get moving so we won't be late_,' he says as he ushers her out the door - putting the coffee and muffin in her hands.

In the truck, she continues her pleading, '_Don't think I haven't noticed what you've been doing. I saw you take my trash out after dinner last night_.' And suddenly the possibility hits her. _'Sam Swarek, if you think for one minute I'm going with you to get a dog, you've got another thing coming! No way do I have the time or the place for a dog!' 'We're not getting a dog, McNally… at least not yet,_' he says back to her with a dimpled grin. Taking a bit more serious tone, she reaches a hand to his arm, _'Sam, I don't want you to work FOR me… I want us to work TOGETHER.'_

_'Oh we're doing this together, Andy, no doubt about that,'_ He says as he turns the truck into the entrance of an airport. Andy finally takes in her surroundings; a small airport about an hour from the city. _ 'Sam… The Airport? Come on, you hate flying!?' 'That's why we're not flying, McNally…. We're jumping,_' he replies as he parks the truck in front of the skydiving school and looks over at her with the same mischievous grin he had right before they went into the Mermaid Lounge.

Four hours later, they finished their course and find themselves standing in jumpsuits and harnesses staring out an open cargo door to the ground far below. Taking her arm and lifting her chin, 'I'm ready to take this leap with you, Andy.' Looking up at him, her helmet sitting a little crooked on her head, she asks 'You scared?' He smiles his sideways smile, racking his tongue over the back of his teeth as if debating telling her the truth, and admits with a gravely tone 'Yeah.' 'But that's what makes it fun, right!?' she tosses his own words back at him with her megawatt smile. Neither of them really talking about skydiving.

Adrenaline surging through him, he can't help the deep laughter that rolls out of him as he lands next to her. They are both riding a euphoric high, lying side by side in the grass as they wait for their racing hearts to regulate. Rolling over and locking his arms on either side of her head, he looks down at her and explains his next move.

_'Andy, I'm only telling you what I'm about to do so you'll know it's not just the adrenaline, OK?' _She nods her head, eyes wide with anticipation. _'McNally…' _He says it the same way he did their second night at the Penny. _ 'I'm going to kis…'_ but his words are caught with her lips fused to his before he could finish the sentence. Pulling her with him as he rolls over back over, knowing he will otherwise crush her with his bodyweight; Andy is lying on top of him, her hands on either side of his face and his arms gripping around her like his life depends on their connection. Their kiss is slow but powerful, as if trying to kiss away the pain and distance than has been between them.


	18. Compasses

******Like I said from the beginning…. I knew where I was going from the start. I also knew that there was no way I could please everyone so I decided to write the story to please myself. I'm glad however, that at least a few of you hung in there and enjoyed it as well. Kate1701, thanks for keeping the faith and sticking with it. Linda P, thanks for your encouragement each chapter. Thanks also to - MP31, MamaluvsRB, Sam 'Dimples' Swarek, bacio4hope, stefrosacarnevale, SwareksGirl, McNally-Swarek, McSwarek01, clsjunior, April 420, InfiniteRegress.**

**Has slightly mature themes – FYI ;)**

The drive back home was light, both still a little disbelieving that they just threw themselves out of a perfectly good plane. But stepping inside her apartment, Sam knew it was time. It was the moment of truth. He couldn't go any further down this road without knowing for sure. Crossing just inside the door, Sam's mouth full of cotton, he rocked back on his heels and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Licking some moisture back to his lips, he finally spewed out the only questions that were left to ask, as she was looking away from him and toeing off her shoes. _'Andy, I've told you I miss you. I've told you I want to be with you, McNally. Now I need to know… do you want to me with me too? Can we please try again_?' Jerking her head up at him and blinking her big doe eyes, she breathes out, '_Yes! Yes Sam. Yes, I want to be with you_.' Instantly, Sam is stalking toward her like she's his next meal… Her yes, breaking the dam of his self-control. Taking her in his arms, he crashed his lips to hers, cupping her face briefly, only to move one hand through her hair to the back of her head and the other to her waist pulling her up to her tiptoes and impossibly closer to him.

Caught up in the rush of the moment, her feelings suddenly come pouring out… her brain having lost all filter over her heart and her tongue. Despite the strong hands reacquainting themselves with her form, she can't slow her chatter... It's as though this moment is going to fade away and she just has to get it all out before the dream ends. '_I'm still trying to "read the signs" Sam'. _(He kisses her cheek)_ 'You once said that I get too caught up in my overthinking that I miss the obvious_, _and it's true… I do_.' (He kisses the spot where her jaw and neck meet.) He laughs to himself, thinking she was kind of missing the obvious right now. '_You've said that you wished I could read your mind, but you know now that I can't so you'll have to help me.' _ (He kisses at her earlobe.) _ 'You have to let me know what's going on…'_

Kissing her hard, he stopped her ramble with his mouth. Locking eyes with her, he made sure she knew exactly what was going on here. '_Andy, I'm going to make love to you. Right here… Right now… That's what's going on. So multitask McNally,'_ he said in a husky breath, and kissed her again, continuing his assault at her cheek, across her jaw and down her neck.

Pulling his face up to look at her, she continued – still totally unable to reign in her professions. (She kisses him back with just as much intensity.) '_If I'm pushing too much… if something isn't working... You have to tell me._' (Kissing him again and tugging off her pullover.) '_I was happy, at ease, fulfilled when we were together._' (Running her fingers through his hair as he kisses the skin that was just exposed.) '_The feelings I had for you were all so new that I craved them…. craved you, Sam._' (Kissing his forehead and reaching a shaky hand to undo his belt.) '_I wanted to live life with you, though I never intended to smother you_.' (She locks eyes with him again and lifts her arms so he can remove her shirt. With her shirt gone, she kisses him again and works to pull his shirt over his head. Raking her eyes over him, she let her fingers skim across his pecks, suddenly reminded of how in awe she was of his body.) '_We're both messy…_' (She kisses across his collarbone.) '_Both hesitant…_' (Kisses up his neck.) '_Both stubborn…_' (Bending down to shrug off her pants and reaching back up to kiss him again.) '_But maybe we can make that work for us?_' (Her doe eyes now looking at him for confirmation… her ramble stopping, as if her mind has FINALLY snapped to attention.)

_'I hear you McNally, and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to have a real relationship with you… to have forever with you… to make this work for us. So now… Andy… Please… Can I take you to bed?_' And just like that, she launches herself at him… her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs tight around his waist… Kissing him for all she's worth.

Walking them back to her bedroom, both having freed themselves of reservation and restraint, they let the hot and frenzied make-up sex begin… Desperate for togetherness… Desperate to have nothing else but beads of sweat standing between them.

The next morning Andy rolled over to stare at the sleeping man beside her, she always loved to watch Sam Swarek sleep… watch his body relax and unfurrow… Loved to see him sleeping face down and sprawled out, his arms angled at each side of his pillow. Finally having him beside her, she knew there could never be an alternative… Sam Swarek was her story. She knew there would be times they would each want to kill one another… times they'd both drive each other crazy, but that was them and somehow she knew they'd be ok. They finally found their way back to one another, and that was it… she was done running.

Reaching over to her bedside table, she pulled out a small box from the drawer. She traced her fingers over the glass and metal. She smiled as she remembered finding it while meandering through the vintage store Celery and Traci. Draping her leg over his, she grazed the soft pads of her fingers across the arm that was thrown over his pillow, and gently kissed him awake.

Sam opened his eyes to the sight he'd been missing for more than a year… the sight of Andy's brown eyes watching over him. Rolling to his back he pulled her closer, saying '_Good Morning, McNally_.' - His voice still thick from sleep. Holding her to him, wrapped together in nothing but a bed sheet, he thinks that this is probably the closest he'll get to heaven…. Until of course she presses up from him and offers him a small box revealing an old compass. Looking at him, she explains '_I love you Sam. You're my story, and I want to keep writing it with you. I saw this the other weekend while you were at the cabin, and I picked it up hoping that I would have a chance to give it to you…. A chance to tell you that I won't need it anymore… A chance to tell you that I'm home and I'm done running.'_

And just when he thinks he couldn't possibly love her any more than he already does; the depth of his love plunges further and the magnitude of his feelings hits him square in the chest like a ton of bricks. Flipping them over, he looks down and marvels that this woman is actually back in his arms. '_I love you Andy. I do. I love your courage. I love your empathy. I love your blush… your Bambi eyes… your electric smile. I love your laugh. I love your trust. I even love how you ramble. And I promise to listen to you. I promise to talk to you. I promise to hold you tight and never let you go. Andy, this time, I promise to keep my promises_.'

And just like he said he would, he made love to her. They savored the feeling of their intimacy. They took time to reintroduce themselves to every inch of one another… every inch that they both had missed so much. They took time to find one another again… Took time to FINALLY reunite.

**Epilogue to come.**


	19. Epilogue Part I: Scalloped Edges

Four months passed since Andy and Sam finally came home to one another, and things for McSwarek were better than ever. They were working to establish a balance…. trying to be intentional in sharing their lives together, while also maintaining their individual selves. Sam took Andy to meet Sarah, and was gradually sharing parts of his past with her. The more he shared, the more Andy was in awe of the man that he was. This time around, their baggage didn't seem so complicated... it seemed a small price to pay for the love that they shared.

Andy was still partnered with Oliver, and Sam was still handling Nick's UC operation. The op was going along well, Nick moving up to driver and having mapped out all Hill's distribution locations and making strong allies, flipping them into informants against Hill. Sam was meeting Nick outside of town, when fate struck again; and Andy, Oliver, Chloe, Marlo and the rest of 15 Division found themselves being hunted by an alleged pedophile.

Kevin Ford had previously been investigated as part of a missing person's case, but was pushed over the edge after Marlo began a vigilante investigation. Chloe took a bullet to the neck, Oliver was held hostage, and Ford entered the precinct dead set on revenge. Andy was making her way out of the parade room when she came face to face with the barrel of Ford's gun, saved only by the voice of Marlo who turned Ford's attention from Andy and onto herself, taking the bullet instead.

Sam and Nick had met monthly since their first meet. Though they started meeting outside of town, as Nick was now well-known throughout most of Toronto. Neither of them had cell signal in the remote location. Sam didn't get the messages about Ford and 15 until he was halfway back. Testing the limits of the accelerator and the limits of his sanity, he swung into the hospital parking lot on two wheels, rushing into the lobby to find a sea of blue. '_Where is she!?_' was his first question. Holding up his hands in a sign of surrender, Frank slowed Sam from barreling into the ER, telling him '_McNally's ok, Sam. She's pretty shaken up, but she's ok. She's sitting with Marlo_.' Sam stood motionless trying to let his heart slow the incessant rattle against his chest. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he asked '_How's Cruz? How's Shaw? What the hell happened?' 'We're still sorting the details, Sam, but the important thing is Andy's safe, Shaw is home and Marlo and Chloe are in the best possible hands_,' Frank assured him. Sam nodded, telling Frank he was taking in the information provided, despite still staring at the ground. '_I need to see her, Frank_,' he finally said. Frank nodded and requested the nurse to bring McNally from Marlo's room.

Until today, Sam had been convinced that he wasn't a 'weak at the knees' kind of guy, but seeing Andy walk through those ER doors, his legs nearly buckled. Her cheeks were tear-stained and her eyes were brimming with tears as Sam scooped her up in his arms. '_She did it for me, Sam. She took a bullet for me! She didn't even have a vest or a gun to protect her'_ Andy tearfully explained. Sam cuddled her to himself, holding her head to his chest. He didn't have words to offer, only his presence. So he held her close, neither of them wanting to let go. _How would he ever repay this debt to Marlo, especially after all he put her through?_

That night Andy refused to leave Marlo's side until her family could arrive, so Sam checked on Oliver and Chole, and headed to get Andy a change of clothes and a bite to eat. Before returning to the hospital, Sam made a stop at his own house, pulling the lock box off the closet shelf. Opening it up, he pulled out a small velvet box, tumbling the box around in his palm. From the time he decided to try and get Andy back, he knew what his end game would be. He knew he wanted it all… the house, the kids, the park on Sundays; and after today, he was done taking it slow. He needed to let Andy know what his intentions were. He hoped she would be ready, but even if she weren't he'd make her wear it on a necklace until she was ready to wear it on her hand.

Opening up the box, he studied the platinum ring. It was a simple band with a carat worth of small diamonds encased around it. The band curved around each of the diamonds, giving the ring a scalloped edge. Turning over the box, he ran his thumb over the date written on the bottom, still disbelieving that his chance had actually come. He's almost ashamed to admit it, but he bought the ring only a few days after Andy had gotten engaged to Luke. He hated the ring Luke had given her. He took one look and knew it wasn't right for Andy. _It didn't even fit her!_ His next day off, he found himself staring intently at a jewelry case. As soon as he saw the ring, he knew it had Andy McNally's name written all over it. The platinum band was strong, and would withstand anything she would encounter working the street. The diamond settings were low profile but magnificent nevertheless, much like Andy herself; and the scalloped edge reminded Sam of all the ups and downs of their relationship. At the time, he never expected to get the opportunity to give it to her… his only consolation was knowing that _he_ was the man that owned the only ring that was fit for Andy.

Tucking the small box into his coat pocket, he returned to the hospital only to find Andy waiting in the hospital lobby. Wrapping herself into him as he walked over to her, she explained Marlo's family had arrived and Marlo was awake and going to recover. Still holding her against him, he nodded into her hair. He drove them back to her apartment and ushered her to the door. Stopping him before they got inside, she asked '_Do you mind if we just sit out here for a minute? It's just being in that hospital for so long… feeling so sterile..._' She didn't know how to explain it, but being so close to so much death and hurt, she just wanted to be outside breathing in the cool night air and feeling life moving around her. They sat down on the building steps. He wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head on his shoulder, exhausted from the events of the day. Taking a breath, Sam turned to look at the woman he knew was the love of his life. Tilting her chin with his fingers, he held her gaze. '_I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you today, Andy. I love you, and having you back in my life has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I don't want to miss one more second of life with you_.' And just like that, Sam Swarek said the three words he never thought he'd get the chance to say, '_Marry me, McNally_.'

Looking up at him, wide-eyed and speechless, all she could do was blink and stare. '_Andy… Say something, McNally'_ Sam urged her. His anxiety getting the best of him, he tried to reassure her, explaining '_Andy, Look… Fine you're not ready yet… you don't have to be… you just need to know this is where I'm headed… this is what I wan…_' Finally finding her voice, she cut him off, looking him in the eye and answering with a very assured, 'Yes, Sam. Yes, absolutely I will marry you.' Hurling himself at her, he slammed his lips to hers, feeling her smile behind his kiss.

Her eyes filled with tears as he placed the band on her finger. '_Sam, This ring… it's beautiful! When… How…_' As he rather sheepishly explained the purchase and the date on the bottom of the velvet box, Andy was overcome. _How this man had ever chosen her, she's really not sure. She's so in awe of his devotion and steadfastness_. '_Samuel Swarek, you are greatest man I've ever known. I'm so in love with you!_' With his arms still wrapped around her, he smiled into her hair. '_You do realize that I just purposed in front of an old toilet factory?_' he asked her with a smirk. Giving him her custom megawatt smile, she quipped '_Ohhh feeling a little flushed, Officer?_' before kissing him again for all she was worth.


	20. Final Epilogue - All of Me

***This not an update. Sorry for the confusion. Just wanted to give credit for the lyrics as I forgot to include in original post. So.. Here goes. Music by John Legend. Song is All of Me. **

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_  
_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_  
_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

Standing in the lawn of Oliver's cabin, Sam couldn't believe the reality he was living in. For most of his adult life, he_ believed _a day like this was never meant for _a guy like him_; but then he met _her_ and suddenly he had hope. And just when he thought his hope was lost, it was restored with a ripcord and a compass.

_What's going on in that beautiful mind  
I'm on your magical mystery ride  
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

With a metal compass in one pocket and a pocket watch in the other, he's standing in a black suit, in front of a grapevine arbor, looking out over a small crowd of friends. He stood thinking back to all the moments and all the people who helped get them here. Oliver and Noelle challenged him; Tracy believed in him, Nick and Marlo sacrificed for him, and Andy trusted him.

_My head's under water  
But I'm breathing fine  
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

Sam turned to glance at the two men standing at his side… Oliver Shaw and Nick Collins. _Collins_, if there was one person Sam Swarek never would have thought would be standing up for him at his wedding it would be _Nick Collins_. He remembered when they met for the second time during Nick's UC… remembered when he admitted to Collins that he was moving forward with Andy…. Remembered how Collins looked him in the eye, nodded, and held out a hand for Sam to shake, explaining, '_As much as I'd love to have a shot with Andy, I wouldn't want it at the expense of her heartache, so don't let her go this time, Swarek_.' Things had been good between the two ever since. They worked hard, and had only recently brought down the entire Hill organization, reuniting Andy and Collins as partners. Soon Collins and Andy would both be transferred to Guns and Gangs, working together handling ops. Sam smiled to himself thinking about Andy with a detective's badge and a McNally-Swarek nameplate.

_'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections_

Oliver's hand clapping Sam's shoulder brought Sam back to the present. Looking up toward the porch of the cabin, he watched as Traci and Noelle made their way down the grassy aisle. Then the cabin doors opened and Andy stepped out taking the arm of her father as she began to make her way toward him. With her hair loosely coiffed, Andy took his breath away. Her lace gown with a v-neckline was tailored to her perfectly, fanning out only slightly at the bottom into a short train. The once unflappable undercover Swarek couldn't tame the dimpled smile that was about to split his face, as Andy made eye contact and continued her walk towards him. Placing her hand in his, Tommy kissed his little girl on the cheek before giving Sam a knowing look.

_Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you_

So there they stood, Sam Swarek and Andy McNally had finally made it to the altar. Holding on to one another's hands, they turned towards Celery who began the service. Andy almost laughed as she remembered his reaction when she told him she wanted Celery to officiate the service. '_You want to be married by a witch?!' 'No Sam… I want to be married by someone who knows us… someone who knows our story… is part of our family_,' she explained with a smile. Sam squeezed her hand in his as Celery began. The service was brief, each of them exchanging vows and the token rings. Sam's body was practically radiating with anticipation, waiting for Celery to finally give him the all clear to kiss his wife… _His wife… Andy McNally-Swarek was HIS WIFE!?_

_How many times do I have to tell you  
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too  
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood  
You're my downfall, you're my muse  
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues  
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_

Taking his cue from Celery, Sam stepped into Andy, dipping her back for a mind-blowing kiss, only to scoop her up and carry her bridal style back down the aisle… Andy laughing hysterically with her arms wrapped around his neck.

_Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts  
Risking it all, though it's hard_

_'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections  
Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give me all of you_


End file.
